“A wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard...
Why can't we all be like that bird?”
― Edward Hersey Richards




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The Saga of Pepe, Luis, Bacon & Ham...with a Pinch of Desert

After reading this humorous tale of Pepe and Luis in the desert [story to follow my photo], I got to thinking of our time living in the desert. If anyone from the Chamber of Commerce in Arizona tells you, "But it's a dry heat" ...they haven't lived there in the summer during monsoon season. The actual temperature can be 80-90 degrees first thing in the morning and then, the monsoons of July-September creep up on you, with the humidity climbing by the minute as you breathe. The heat index can reach low to mid 120 degrees before the rains come....yes, humidity!!! Monsoon season in the Sonoran Desert can be lethal. But, all in all the desert and the mountains can be a beautiful, beautiful area to live. Other than the flooding rains, then it truly is a dry heat -Winter, Spring and Fall...Summer, not so much. Watch out and leave during June through September....or make sure you Air Conditioner is in prime shape both inside the house and in your vehicles. I also learned when driving in the summer, you want to slowly turn your A/C down in your car by distance intervals, before you get to your destination!!! 'Cause if you don't, and you step out of a cool/cold car, the outdoor furnace will put you into a coma!! [well that just may be an exaggeration, but heat is deadly y'know!!]



From a post of a decade ago, March 2007

a cached photo of the Saguaro Cactus in and around where we used to live...
...Tucson, Arizona

Now....the Story of Pepe and Luis...

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says, “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk.”

“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon.”

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon … Every imaginable kind of cured pork.

“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree.”

“Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don’t forget.”

“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon…ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree.”

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.

Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, “Pepe… Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!”

“Luis, Luis MI amigo… What ees it? ”

“Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush.”
...the end...

24 comments :

  1. Hilarious! I love your picture of the big Saguaro. I know there is a whole park devoted to them, the park and the Saguaros are huge. I have been cracking up over Ann's little misprint and the award you made her! I never did notice it. But as I commented to her, you have the sharpest eyes of anyone I know.

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    1. Yes, the Saguaro National Park is HUGE in area, and the towering cacti are EVERYWHERE you look! My favorite time of day was just after sunset when the saguaro[s] were silhouetted and the Tucson Mtns were in the background against a violet sky.

      Well, Ann made me choke on my water while I was reading her post about the makeshit balcony! --- What a typo, huh? She made my day, actually.

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  2. YOu are just on a roll with cracking me up. Love the story of Pepe and Luis

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    1. ...rollin', rollin', rollin'!!!

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  3. Good morning, The Pepe and Luis story is funny. Love the Saguaro cactus. Happy weekend to you!

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    1. Thanks for the visit today Eileen.

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  4. Hahahaha! Ess funny! :-)

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  5. Like heat, do not like humidity - at all. Funee storee!

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  6. OH NO... not a ham bush, giggling so hard can't type.. I could not for the life of me guess what the last line would be... what you just described is how I feel about FL, June through Sept I want to leave. it used to be only 3 months but now we added June. I just came in from shopping at 3 stores, only about 45 minues and they are all within 1/2 mile of each other. I felt like I was wearing a chain male armor instead of clothing. I came in the door slinging off clothes and gasping for AC. and I know that feeling of cold to hot.. I would like to live here and have a second summer home in Austrailia, it is winter there now and much like our winter, cool but not freezing.

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    1. I was 'shocked' at the ending myself, that's why I JUST HAD to share this with everyone. It's a hoot.

      Oh, ya, I hear ya'....that heat and humidity is something else. But I'd still rather have THAT than snow for months on end, tho.

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  7. Too funny, one of my oldest dearest friends moved to Tucson, and this last week it got so hot they took a vacation to Lake Powell! My grandfather moved to Arizona when my father was 12 so we visited often, and it was always in the summer! A great place to visit but! Thanks for sharing that story, you always brighten the day!

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    1. I'm glad I could make your day brighter Karen.
      Yep, Summers in the desert are not much fun.

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  8. HA! Now that was a good one. A Ham bush!!! :)

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    1. I thought it was hilarious...and we all need some humor in our lives right now.

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  9. Well these stories sure beat walking in the heat and taking pics~~lol. Seriously,I know about that so called dry heat..I was in Phoenix early June and know all about that "dry heat" we were camping and scurried up to the mountains.

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    1. Yep....and the mountains are cooler yes, but still it's Arizona and warmer than what you'd expect for higher elevation.

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  10. That was FUNNY! :-) A good laugh to start the day. And THANK YOU!!!! I get so sick and tired of people always saying "It's a dry heat"
    about S AZ! It is brutal, and I was so sick of summers there by the time we moved, I can't even tell you! The monsoon heat (July-Sept) is horrible, but even the dry heat is unbearable before the monsoons start (June) because it feels like you are in a 400 degree oven! I have lived there twice, once in the early 80s and all we had was a swamp cooler!!!! And then in our most recent time of five and a half years before we left in December (going from air conditioner to air conditioner all summer long and not getting to DO anything!) I do NOT understand people moving there and staying! :-)

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    1. Oh ya, that monsoon season in the desert is NASTY!!!!

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  11. Cute story. Our power went off for the second day in a row yesterday. At least we had a nice rain before that so it was cool outside.

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    1. No power? Always when it's needed most. At least you two go some rain.

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