Readin' Writin' and 'Rithmetic....


Good Morning!



One sunny day an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton".
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing your answer!"

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow!"


- - -


TEXAS TALK: You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits >=MEANS=>> You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't change a thing!


- - -

Q: Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, so what did Delaware?

A: I don't know, Alaska.



- - -


What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws
and
the
other
has a
pause at the end of a clause!!!


- - -


1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321



- - -


Think of any number.
Double it
Add 10
Halve it [1/2]
Subtract the original number [the number you began with in the puzzle]
The answer: will always be five [5]


...and lastly today:

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears!!



Have a Great Day!!

32 comments :

  1. I love all of these and you knew I would.. my favorite is the Texas talk.. and the last quote is my motto and so true. I have missed so much in life living with my fears since I was a tiny tot. unfortnaley what my mind knows I can't do and will continue until death removes my fears.

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    1. I would love to get into the psychology of your fears. Or psychiatric.

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  2. Hello, I love that last quote. Everyone should be able to live their dreams. Cute turtle shot. Happy Thursday, enjoy your day!

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    1. Happy Thursday to you too Eileen, and thanks for being here on your blog anniversary.

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  3. I'm so glad I came to visit . . . it's nice to start my morning with a laugh . . . love the first joke and will be sharing it before the day is over.
    Keep Smiling!
    Connie :)

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    1. So glad you stopped by Connie....and happy to have made you laugh a little today.

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  4. Hi! Nice laugh material today!

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  5. Wow... I am plum wore out with all this mental exercise. I am still trying to figure out the math thingy.... thinking..... thinking....thinking....need another cup of coffee.

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    1. Did you hear that coffee extends your life?!!!

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  6. Have not been feeling to good lately. Your post helped me to get started better today.

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    Replies
    1. Hope you're feeling better even more now that you've had a restful day.

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  7. You have given me some good laughs today! I think my favorite is the one about the cat and comma. Love the red stripe on the turtles face!

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  8. Hello Anni!:) Americo howled at the Hillary Clinton joke,...it is very funny! Great humour, and turtle shot.:=)

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    1. LOL...glad you both enjoyed the Hillary Sketch. lol

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  9. These are all greag. Thanks for the laughs

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  10. I just read your comment on my blog. I'm dieing here. Either no one else noticed that or you were the only one willing to point it out. I'm so glad you did because I just got the biggest laugh of the day. I'm going to leave it too.

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  11. Such a fun post! Enjoyed it.

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  12. This was fun! Thanks for the laughs and the brain exercises too!

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    1. Thank YOU Mari. By the way, love your new blog look!!

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  13. Knock knock!

    Who's there?

    Spell.

    Spell who?

    W-h-o!

    Lorelei reads jokes to me half the nights as we go to bed...she just read the one about the cat and the comma last night.

    Heard the first one before, and don't mind hearing it again....

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    Replies
    1. ...and here I thought I've heard EVERY knock knock joke, but this W H O one is new to me.

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  14. Good funnies here and the picture of the Red Slider turtle is very pretty.

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    1. Thanks Paula. Glad you had a laugh or two with this post!

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  15. Love the turtle photo!
    Did Tennessee what Arkansas? (If there is an answer, I don't know it).
    Have a great week-end!

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    1. Good one Lea. I hafta look it up now to see what Arkansas.

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    2. Here's what I found on Google...

      What did Tennessee?
      She saw what Arkansa

      What did Delaware?
      She wore her New Jersey!

      What did Idaho?
      She hoed her Maryland

      What did Ioway?
      She weighed a Washington

      How did Wiscon-sin,
      She stole a New-bras-key

      How did Flora-die
      She died in Missouri

      Where has Oregon
      She's gone to her Okla-home

      Why did Califon-ya
      She phoned to say Hawai-ya,

      What did Mississip,
      She sipped a Minnisota

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  16. I'm so happy I visited your blog today.. it put a smile on my face, too! Enjoy your weekend, Pat

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