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Got a good reason For taking the easy way out


Monday, April 13th, 2009
1:45 A.M.



Lately, I've felt like Maxine looks. I've caught myself talking like her a lot here of late also. Just the other day, when we finished viewing the DVD "Australia" [which by the way is a very good movie!! I'd recommend it if you haven't seen it!!!], it all started. And when we watch any DVD of ours, we have to switch the cable to channel 3 in order for the movie to come on clear; through the DVD player. Okay. So, when the movie ended, I shut everything down and when the TV switch was turned back on....absolutely no picture came on the channel. Hmmmmm, I thought maybe I had hit another button accidentally on the remote when ejecting the disk...so I redid everything step by step. Again, after ejecting...still no picture on the 'tube'!!

Now, granted, I've had it up to here [insert me flagging the top of my head with my hand] with our cable network. Just weeks ago, ABC/TWC was threatening to go off the air completely because of contract disputes through their headquarters, and it's a FREE network, ABC is. It was scheduled to be taken off our lineup April 1st. And this has been going on for the last 4 years, each year, when a contract was to be negotiated. So, here is the part where I feel like I'm reincarnated Maxine!-----------the CEO of our local cable is Dick Drilling? Dick? Drilling? Oh lord, just think of what Maxine could do with this? I know I've said a few choice things about that name and the cable company. Alas, it doesn't do one bit of good...in any case! No matter when, either, the consumer is getting the raw end of the deal.

Now with no FOX station [channel 3 for us] on Saturday evening after the movie viewing? I called ready to give 'em a piece of my mind. I wasn't surprised when I got some foreign accented guy...who spoke English... garbled and very unclear. I stated my name, where I lived, [city and state]. He explained to me that they were upgrading their system?!!!?!!! Hmmmmm, coming up on prime time instead of upgrading the system in the early A.M.? All righty then, Dick,----if it wasn't back up by a 24 hour timeframe, the calendar is marked...and this ol' Maxine look-a-like would've gone to Dish Network!!! Like Diane said in her blog several times...it's like talking to an Indian Guru!! We're English speaking Americans...we need some representatives that can enunciate more clearly, just for one of many gripes I've had lately.

- - -

Now...there's more. Maxine again. But a whole 'nother ball field!!! This time it's about what I've read and heard all my life. The plain statement that our bodies are a temple...and they should be treated as such!! Ummmmm, I ask, not in confusion but in frustration!!!----just where the heck is the master blueprint plan for my 'temple'? A temple you say? Well, lately this temple, no matter how much I pamper it, is beginning to look like the Astrodome!!! Round, plump and falling to pieces. Not to mention visions of the Leaning Tower of Pisa....the foundation my temple has these days is really beginning to drift on an incline that would make the stock market look healthy! That's the best Maxine-ism I can come up with. Things are prone to a bias that wasn't in the master plan at all!!! Gravity is pulling my temple to the ground!!!

I've had thoughts of going under the knife, which makes me think of Bobby Darin's song lyrics, you know....Maxine the Knife?
    Oh, my shape, babe, was so lithe, dear

    And it showed then, firm 'n' taut

    Just 'cause Maxknife ate much McD's, babe

    And it shows now … ah … plans of wrought.

    ~chorus if there is any~

    Yes, that Ma-a-a-axi's backing down!!!------

    Look out ol' Maxi's off track!!


Not to mention, the fear I get where I want to literally jump out of my own temple skin when I see photos of M. Jackson and Lisa Rinna! Oh what a tangled mess we ensare when at first we go under the knife if we dare. Then again, Al Gore would appreciate me using plastic [surgery] to save the planet, right? I'm sure you'd all love the fact that I would be around for eons!!


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24 comments :

  1. Another great post my friend.

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  2. Oh. My. Word! You are so funny. I love Maxine too.

    I have dish network... we Can't get cable.

    I would go for a tummy tuck if someone else was footin' the bill.

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  3. that's a super cool award. congratulations!

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  4. You are hillarious and you make a great Maxine! You're also so right about those plastic surgery failures!

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  5. Good Mornin' Anni,
    I know what you mean about having trouble with your Cable Company. They are always doing some kind of upgrade aroudn here too. They upgrade and raise their prices. I hate talking to those foreigh people and can't understand a word they say. I just want to lose my temper and give them a piece of my mind as well. "CONGRATULATION'S on your Award. "THANK YOU" for changing my blog background as well. I do love it and was surprised when I seen it a bit ago. I like yours too. This week looks to be a quiet week around here, so maybe I can visit more often. I did post this morning. Take care my friend and have a great Monday. May GOD BLess you and yours.
    Love,
    Karen H.

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  6. Your TV must be haunted, lol we have another system so I can't really comment anything. But that my body should be a temple is very interesting I wonder who prays inside me ?? My intestins ?

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  7. Gattina....your body being a temple is a Biblical reference from the book Corinthians I believe....but it means that with the holy spirit within you, you should take CARE of your body. Nothing to do with praying, actually.

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  8. My temple is decaying as well - and I was just thinking last night that I'm not taking as good care of it as I should! I hate looking in the mirror - and even worse is the reflection I see in my laptop monitor. UGH!!

    When I was dealing with Travelocity the other night to change Kev's ticket to Maine, the guy I got couldn't be understood. I told him so and he switched me to somebody else. I was so glad. The one I spoke to the last go-around had perfect English and I complimented him. But we shouldn't have to ask to speak to somebody we can understand!! It really gripes me. Something just doesn't make sense when we're talking to people in India about our credit cards or our flights within our own country.

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  9. Anni,
    Mondays and other days are always fun at your place. We saw Australia in the theater; it is a great movie. I love the Gandhi quote.

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  10. Yep, love Maxine as well!

    I have Direct TV out here, and am pretty satisfied with them, but heaven help me if I have to call them. I may be talking to some guy in Kukamonga English leaves something to be desired.

    Congrats on the cute award!

    As for my body, well, gotta stop going to so many buffets!

    Fun post to read in the morning! Thanks so much for stopping by. Have a great day, Anni!

    Huggies,

    Renie

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  11. It's not you - it's me who's nuts. I took it down to put up my Good Friday post, then decided to put it back up and add to it. Sorry!!

    The Bible remedy - smashing it with the old family Bible. I can't see sending all that goop through my body to who knows where??

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  12. You are a funny, funny lady! I love to come here. You start my day with a smile.

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  13. Hahaha - hilarious post, Anni! I love Maxine too. I'm, um, well, let's say I'm not quite as mature as she is (I'm 33) but let me tell you, I totally relate to a lot of what she says.

    And your description of "had it up to here" is priceless! That's one of my favorite expressions, and I always wave my hand dramatically over my head when I say it ;-)

    Happy FM and week to you!

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  14. What a coincidence that you should be talking about your cable tv today because this morning I had the cable guy here to switch us from cable to digital. It wasn't something I really wanted, it's just that by June 1st, cable will no longer be available, it will be all digital. Now I have a brand new remote with millions of buttons that he gave me...along with a one minute lesson on HOW to use it! Egads! lol

    Oh yes...a foreign guy answering the phone when you want help...I spend so much time trying to figure out what he's saying, I then forget what I was calling about in the first place!!!!

    My temple got up and left, what I'm left with is a misshaped body that doesn't know which way to go! lol xoxo

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  15. Oh I've dealt with those Indian customer relations from AT&T and from satellite tv. Have you ever noticed that you have a perfectly clear connection with everyone else in the universe except the telephone repair people? Then you begin to think you are in a third world country. But they are so polite, it's hard not to get irritated because you cannot understand them and can hardly hear them for the bad connection. I am sure it is all intended to get you off the phone and give up completely. And being put on hold to listen to musak that comes in and out on your speaker phone? gah!!!!

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  16. JunebugYes indeed!! I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts...it's like a conspiracy to get us consumers to give up and take the extra stress in stride. No wonder we're all a mess.

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  17. OMG! Dick Drilling?? What were his parents thinking...

    I know what you mean by the foreign voices one gets on the end of the phone...yes, we have that, too. Most frustrating.

    I saw Australia yesterday and loved it! Had to have a tissue or three with me though.

    As for bodies being temples...huh! No one's worshipped in mine for a while so where's the similarity? Now there's a Maxine-ism if I ever head one...

    Great post, Anni

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  18. Move over Maxine, stand back Joan .... Anni's arrived!
    You ever go on the road, I'll be clammoring for a front-row seat!

    Myra

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  19. Anni,

    What a mess...the tv, I mean. Not you. LOL You always give me a good laugh.

    Yes, gravity does nothing for us as we age. I'm having the same problem. However, I think you are beautiful.

    Take care, my friend. I'm late visiting today. The boys and I were at Mom's for Easter from just after lunch until about 6pm. I've sent you an email. Hope your tv is up and going by now.

    Blessings,
    Mary

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  20. I don't know who exactly I feel like at this time.
    But I have to say I sure love Maxine and her words of wisdom.

    Coffee is on.

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  21. If our bodies are a temple, where are all the worshipers? :)

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  22. My body is a temple, and the Altar Guild needs to put some starch in my linens.

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  23. I'm sorry for your cable woes... My mother had the same issues. I don't think they'll ever be straight.

    I can imagine why Dick Drilling is such a pill, can't you?

    I am off to rent Australia!

    Happy Monday!

    MommyWizdom

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  24. Goodness - how scary! :)

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