How Insulting!! - aka -A little Jab'lldoya

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...but no offense taken-----
-----THURSDAY 13...

1-I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

2-No, I don’t mind that you’re talking so much — as long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.

3-Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date.

4-Someday you’ll find yourself, and you will be just as disappointed as the rest of us.

5-You say you’re a wit? Well, you’re half right.

6-If there’s ever a price on your head, take it.

7-I’ll never forget the first time we met — although, I’ll keep trying.

8-Your entire purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

9-Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

10-Now I know why some mammals eat their children.

11-Oh my God, look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.

12-Sure, I’d love to help you out. Do you remember which way you came in?

13-I’d like to leave you with a parting thought, but I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it.

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THURSDAY THUNKS

1. Isn't showing a condom commercial during Sex Rehab With Dr Drew almost like showing a pain narcotic or an alcohol commercial during Intervention?

This is a simile by all standards. So, what's your point? What I'd like to know is why on earth would a school pick Trojans for a mascot?!!!

2. Burger King and Ronald McDonald met Colonel Sanders in a dark alley. They beat him down for just serving chicken and not sharing his "11 herbs & spices". The Colonel goes down. Begs for his life. Where do they go to eat afterwards?

As far as I'm concerned, the royal King should be deported and eat in Siberia somewhere! While on the other hand Ronnie just may try and fill some bigger shoes on Mars or somewhere out there...we ALL deserve a break today!!!

3. You take a shower, go to leave the bathroom and the door is stuck. Due to humidity and moisture it won't budge. It will not open. No one else is home. You can't go out the window. How long do you sit in the bathroom and how do you occupy your time?

Ha!! That's the exact reason I have tools of the trade. I have stuff I can work the hinges off the door. [no not what you're thinking!! geez] Instead of trying to pry it open around the sides of the door frame, work it open from the bottom where there is draft after the hinges are taken out. It'll work or my name isn't Anni! You say you've tried it and it didn't work? Well, then...I guess you won't want to look at the property I have for sale either, then, huh?

4. You are a rockstar, but you need a cool rocker name. What is it and how did you decide on that name?

I think I would relinquish this idea completely. Go for Country...and I'd be Rootin' Tootin' Scootin' Hootin' with my Six Shooter Shootin' ---picture THAT name on a CD!

5. Have you ever gotten naked at a family function?

Considering that it's now just the two of us...we have family functions!

6. If purple ate yellow, what color would come out?

Let me tellya here and now...it wasn't pretty!! And before I could find out what color it really was, I flushed it.

7. The closest paper and pen to you right now. What color are they?

Paper? Well, the closest to me is a comic strip so it's black and white and read red all over. Pen? It's black, feathery on top, and a Jack Skellington among the feathers...way cool!

8. Corn chips or potato chips?

Depends...if there is salsa handy it'd be Corn chips!! [Dorito style, not Fritos]. But if no salsa, it'd be potato chips. I can't eat just one tho.

9. You are forced to swallow either a diamond or a piece of coal. Don't ask. Just do it. Which do you choose?

Insanity! Total insane question. Whadya think I'd say, coal?...diamonds...I hear carats are good for your eyesight....Ehhhhh, What's up Doc? And like I said, I got tools! From Acme! I'll get that diamond after it's filtered thru!!

10. If your mouse decided to attack your keyboard, who would win?

Howard Cosell stepping up the microphone..."Good evening fellow keyboard enthusiasts!" "We're here to watch Anni's mouse in that corner." :::Cheers and jeers from the gallery of followers::: "And Anni's keyboard in the other corner." "It'll be the fight of the century or else, folks." :::Boos and hisses heard from the balcony::: "Round 1 coming right up; after a word from our sponsor..."

"The only blind person at Christmastime is he who has not Christmas in his heart."
~Helen Keller









POSTED: Thursday, December 10th, 2009
12:01 A.M.