Hootin' Anni's Day Trippin'

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THURSDAY THUNKS...

1. What color is your mouthwash? Minty, creamy white, covered in chocolate....as in Jr. Mints. Actually, I use for mouthwash when I am going to meet someone or go somewhere...it's called Big Red....chewing gum. It cleans between my teeth. I can't gargle...it makes me gag. So sue me!!

2. Do you remember your first phone number? Have you called it recently? I can't even remember my number NOW!! Are you kidding me? Golly, if I think about it, my first phone number would be close to 50 years ago. I DO remember it being a party line...I as a kid would love to sit and listen in on others talking.

3. BPD in OKC's question- Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what's in it? Now, that would be no longer a super secret then, would it...if I told y'all? Think I'm gullible do'ya?

4. When was the last time you used a pay phone? How much did it cost to make the call? More phone questions? I remember last year, when I had a flat tire downtown...on a Sunday [and we're here in the Bible Belt, so not too many things are open on Sunday's.] A guy at a convenience store told me there was a pay phone with a phone book just around the corner...I was going to use the BOOK to call an emergency tow truck to get me home---using ONLY my cellphone [Bud was gone]. But when I walked out of the store, three nice gentlemen helped to change the flat to the mini-spare and I got home! So, ya think I'm stalling with the answer...you betcha! I can't remember WHEN I used a pay phone...if ever.

5. What was that noise? The darned witch clock chiming the hour with a witch's cackle!!! Yes, I even have a Halloween CLOCK!! Oops, now Winston is chiming...he wants fed. Again.

6. Stef H's question- how long is a woodpecker's pecker? The question, my dear Stef, would be better if you'd asked about its tongue!!! :sigh: :fantasizing: The tongue of a woodpecker is in a class by itself. When chiseling into a tree, the woodpecker will occasionally come across tunnels. Its tongue is long and slender and is used to probe these tunnels. The tip is like a spearhead with a number of barbs or hairs pointing rearward. This facilitates securing, while transporting it to the beak. A sticky glue-like substance coats the tongue to aid in this process as well. The bird produces another secretion to dissolve the glue on swallowing. :whoa: Most birds have a tongue and a beak about the same length. The tongue of the woodpecker has evolutionists scratching their heads. It can be stretched far beyond the tip of the woodpecker's beak as it searches the tunnels. :gasp: :sigh: The tongue of some woodpeckers does not come from its throat up into its mouth like other creatures. The European Green woodpecker's tongue goes down the throat, out the back of the neck ... around the back of the skull beneath the skin, and over the top between the eyes, terminating usually just below the eye socket. In some woodpeckers the tongue exits the skull between the eyes and enters the beak through one of the nostrils! [OH crap...there in lies the Quick Termination of MY Wooden-Pecker Fantasy!!!]

7. How many comments did you receive on your last Thursday's Thunk?

My dashboard shows 50 comments [with two of those being my replies---so in all actuality the comment number from other visitors would be 48] last Thursday...




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THURSDAY 13...the funny & the not so funny, from Czech Lovers to manure, from frequent fliers to Heinz...


1] A monastery in the English countryside has fallen on hard times, and the monks decide to open a fish-and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, "I suppose you're the 'fish friar?’" "No," answered the brother, straight-faced. "I'm the 'chip monk.'"

2] A sweet young thing who has just been shopping is pulled over by a traffic cop and given a ticket for speeding. Rather than fight the ticket, the woman writes a check for the amount of the fine and puts it in the mail. However, the young woman is anxious. Her husband always examines her checkbook carefully, and she doesn't want him to know about the incident. Then inspiration strikes, and she scribbles on the check stub: "One pullover, $125."

3] An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in his paintings that are on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replies. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That’s wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What’s the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."

4] When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a ophthalmologist in Prague. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters CVKPNWXSCZ. "Can you read that?" the doctor asked. "Can I read it?" the Czech replied. "I dated his sister!"

5] At the end of the great flood, Noah opens up the ark and lets all the animals out. "Go forth and multiply," he says, as the animals scurry down the gangplank. But as Noah is closing the great doors of the ark, he notices two snakes sitting in a dark corner. "Didn't you hear me?" he says to them. "You can leave now. Go forth and multiply." "We can't," say the snakes. "We're adders."

6] My 10 yr old niece says her prayers every night and instead of amen she says:"Hit ENTER"

7] In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e."


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8] In 1994 Oklahoma rapist Darron Bennalford Anderson received a 2,200-year jail sentence. When he appealed and won a new trial, he was convicted again and resentenced to more than 90 additional centuries behind bars - including 4,000 years each for rape and sodomy, 1,750 years for kidnapping, 1,000 years for burglary and robbery, and 500 years for grand larceny. In July 1997, the state Court of Criminal Appeals held that the grand larceny charge was double jeopardy on the robbery conviction and thus dismissed it. So the court cut Anderson's sentence by 500 years, speeding up his release date to the year 12,744!

9] In 1949, the year I was born - Yankees and Red Sox, tied for 1st place, play final game of season. Yankees win 5-3 and clinch pennant #16 Hmmmmmm, me thinks it's gonna be that way again this year? The two city rivalry pitted against each other in the playoff games for the division title. I root for the Yankees.

10] There is only ONE food item that doesn't spoil, ever! And that is ........
HONEY

11] Look! Up in the sky!! It's a bird...it's a plane----the average number of people airborne over the United States at any given hour: 61,000

12] Hmmmmmmm, what does this tell us, you wonder? The American city with the highest per capita viewership of TV evangelists is Washington DC

13] Heinz Ketchup, leaving the bottle, travels at 25 miles PER YEAR




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I received this award the other day....I guess the rules state I'm not supposed to tell from whom tho. That sucks. But, I adore it. Now, I'm supposed to make up a grand acceptance speech to show my gratitude. That's also according to the rules of the award. Okay then....

I step up to the podium...test the microphone. Of course throughout the blog world the ear piercing scrrrree-e-e-e-e-ch vibrates where everyone along the front rows are holding their ears as the pain of the scrrree-e-e-e-ching subsides. I clear my throat *Ahem* and adjust the microphone to my height....and go for it.

"My dear friends, family, and blogsters...I so humbly accept this kind gesture and want to thank my presenter personally. 'Au hau'oli' Said as I pat my heart in appreciation. 'La Ho'omaika'i'!!!"

-----With great applause, whistles and cheers from the gallery, I step down and join the crowd of other recipients. And.....I pass it on to all. To pick the award up...click on it to enlarge, when it opens in a new window, right click & save!! Congratulations.


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So, I managed to get the car into the mechanics before 9 a.m. yesterday for the safety inspection [we only have the safety, we don't have an emission test on the cars here because of the continual sea breeze blowing the pollution northward]! And believe it or not [sorry Thom, no rant today!], they got me right in. I handed over the keys and the insurance proof---the gal at the desk said, "It'll be less then 10 minutes, Anni, and you'll be on your way." And true to her word, they had me in and out before I could finish my soda!! Every year, I go there...maybe it pays to be continually returning!! When I got home I looked at the windshield, and I swear, if it didn't say "Texas" on it, I would've thought I was a resident of the state of Wyoming....it's just so close to the reverse 'mascot' of the Wyoming Cowboys. Whoa. Okay, close but not so close. Needless to say, I was pleased as punch!!!



POSTED: Thursday, October 1st, 2009
12:01 A.M.