§ ...a letter to my dad

Hi Dad. It's your youngest, me, Anni! I just thought I'd drop you a line or two to let you know even after all these years since your passing, I still miss you. Your antics, your jokes, your smiles and your wonderful outlook on life was always something I looked forward to with our visits. You managed to keep us kids all in line and teaching us to enjoy the things we had and never once covet those who had more. Your strong will was our strength!

Bud and I, as you probably know somehow, are now living in Texas. And I think oftentimes how you'd love to be with us and do the work in our yard. I just know you'd have the lawn manicured to perfection and the roses would be saucer sized. You had a knack for gardening. It rubbed off onto me, but I don't think I could hold a candle to your expertise. Oh ya, I know how you detested the humidity. It's strong right now, thick as pea soup you'd say. Trust me, it's like stepping into a sauna 'bout now once the door is open and making your way around town. But we could always hook up the boat on the bumper hitch and drive a few minutes and the two of us could load the gear into the boat, start up the motor, skim over the water out into the bay, and pop open the cooler and just sit, laze around the whole day and fish!! Remember all the long weekends how we'd go fishing and camping? Those memories are with me forever. If we don't catch anything, we could catch up on all the years we've not been together. We could talk about mom and your love for each other. I miss her terribly too. We could talk about Dillon and his love of the game of chess. He's quite good y'know. In fact he's been to several local, state, and national tournaments. Irene is doing well. She keeps herself busy with work and the boys. Clint is happy, working. He adores his mom, Irene. Erik is teaching at the college level now and also into real estate. There has been so much violence at the Texas Colleges these days, I fear for his life sometimes. But he too is strong and continues to strive. He's working on a PhD in Political Science now. Bud, of course, he misses you too. The two of you got along so well, it was always, from day one, like you two were blood related!!

Well, I best get to the man in my life. I miss you dad. And when you get a chance, give mom a hug from me!!
Love you,
with all my heart...
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
Anni

§ I dreamed a dream of days gone by....

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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE!!!



SHADOW SHOT SUNDAY
[there ARE leg shadows in the photo]



[my dad...top row, to the right of the 'coach']


- - -

SUNDAY'S SUMMARY

For my summary this week, it's all about my dad [IT CONTINUES TO HAUNT ME]---

It was two in the morning, the room was stuffy and humid. As the ceiling fan whirled above my head, giving me little relief, I was awakened by a dream. A dream still so vivid in my mind as I tossed and turned trying to compose myself and relax, trying desperately to return to my dream. A realism that it would be nearly impossible to go back and pick up where the dream left me wide awake and wondering what it all meant to me and how and why I had dreamed such a dream…

A faint knocking came from the living room. I was in the kitchen, cleaning, after our nighttime meal, and I was wiping off my hands of foamy soap residue, to dry them, and get to the door. The evening light was fading in the west. Darkness was coming over the landscape. I peered out the lightly draped, framed window from the room and could see only silhouetted tree branches as the sky was slowly turning a dusty, indigo blue. The stars danced between the black toothpick-like arms of the tree’s shadow. Erik was in his own room, playing his invented games. Irene was whispering in a deep, hushed, conversation on her phone that we gave her for the holidays just days ago. The television was on; no one was watching. The room itself was lighted in an incandescent golden glow from the table lamp on the sofa’s side arm. I made my way; closer to the slated overlay of the foyer now. I reached for the brass knob to open the door and it turned on its own. Startled, I took a step backward, nearly stumbling over the carpeting and beveled woodwork separating the floor tiles, unknowing who or what made it turn. I waited in silence; my heart racing now. The outer door frame became visible as someone or something maneuvered the works. The heavy, imported, mahogany, door was now ajar.

From out of nowhere my father appeared. He smiled hugely, showing his tobacco stained teeth and reached out and wrapped his virile, heavily haired arms around me. Though somewhat startled at the sudden appearance of him, my heart slowly calmed down with the comfort of his hug. As my eyes opened from over my father’s shoulder. another came through the door. His sister, my favorite aunt, entered through the doorway, hugely smiling her greeting. She walked past the two of us. Dad and I were still in a very mysterious and atypical embrace. You see, my father, as I grew to adult, hardly ever showed emotional and familial gestures of such kind. The lingering clinch was comforting and confusing me at the same time.

While Aunt Mary made her way behind us and setting down on the sofa, still smiling broadly, another person showed up. But the body was partially hidden from me. I couldn’t see just who it was. Was it my mother? Was it a cousin? I can’t tell you. I woke up just as my father and I said our hellos and he released himself to turn and make his way near his sister.

I think I would have really enjoyed the ensuing conversation that lay in store after we all settled down and began catching up on lost time. My father passed away just over seventeen years ago. My mother, if it was her that was coming in through the doorway, left us behind twenty one years ago now and my aunt, well she recently passed from the earth; some seven years since her death.


The meaning of this dream? Since I finally did return to a state of relaxation and continued sleep, I never did come to terms of the situation from that that awakened me…nor did I dream again before I woke for the day hours later. But the picture of it all remained in my mind so vividly, it was like it was the real thing. Was I trying to say goodbye to them all? Do I still sorely miss them? Am I now trying to rekindle what we had before they left me and my family? Was the dream a way of coping with the loss; though so very long ago? I really cannot say one way or the other. All I know is that I felt compelled to write it down and make note of what I saw; what I remembered.

Monday, April 20th, 2009
12:33 A.M.


Sayre is our hostess this week. She asks us to:

Take your camera to work and take pictures
of the things that inspire you as you work or that inspires your coworkers.
Ask them (or yourself) what it is about that particular object or picture
that makes the work day seem a little easier.
If you don't work outside the home, take a picture of the thing
that helps you get through the day
and inspires you to have the best day you can.

When I'm at my computer, working at blogging, my inspirations are what I see beside me. Actually throughout my life, they've all been inspirations. I have this on each side of me:


left photo: Erik in his Marine Corps uniform, Me, Irene and Clint
small Christmas photo of our two youngsters and Erik/girlfriend...next to Irene and Clint

Right photo, Bud and I on our wedding day, my mom as a teen..small photos Dillon, Clint and my father with is dog [when he was widowed], Sophie---far right on this photo.

Then, my furbabies, they inspire me to take care of myself so I can take care of them:

Winston....sorry, I had to wake him up for y'all!!.....:::yawn:::



and

Tahoe, posing for y'all!---

Are you sitting down? This turned into a long 'un!!! Olive really opened a can of worms - so to speak [pun intended] ---I loathe fishing!!! Everything about it. Even consuming fish. I ate enough brook trout and rainbow trout and fresh water salmon in my lifetime, to feed a nation. And this all requires a little explaining, but it opened a flood gate I tellya. Grab some iced tea or your soft drink...it's gonna be a bumpy ride!


Our gracious host this week hails from U R Olive. And boy does she have a doozie for us this week!! I like creative...she reiterates that the tale is to be creative...well, trust me, most 'fish stories' ARE.....

Hey, we are starting a new month and will be celebrating our Day of Independence soon in the US so let’s make the next FM a fun time. I would like to hear about your *whopper* of a fishing story. Yes, you heard it correctly whether it is fictional or non fictional I want to hear a fishing story from you. An example would be if you catch a minnow and tell it that you caught a swordfish (exaggeration is the operative word here). Did you hear me say show your photo(s)? Of course you did – be creative.

This will now self destruct in one minute!

- - -

What follows is true:

This is my own "fishing implement" that I used on our family's fishing trips all the time when I was a small child. It'll be explained later more thoroughly as you read further. It's a ball peen hammer of my father's [even has initials etched in the head of the hammer "H C" is visible if enlarged] - it was from his truck's tool box that was toted everywhere he went in the truck. For my entertainment on our many, MANY fishing trips, this came in very handy for me! When my father passed away, tho it's just an everyday ordinary hammer, it had to end up in my possession because of the familial value for me and me alone. This is inside our home now, and when I use it for household purposes, I am reminded of my dad and my attachment to this tool of his!! Read on....


- - -

I remember one fish tale that involved my parents. My father loved to go fishing. There was this HUGE reservoir that was about an hour's drive from our home. In the mountains. My dad had a small motor boat. Just about every weekend he had off from work, the two would get up way before sunrise and drive for hours to go fishing. Now, I went with them when I was REALLY young since my older siblings always had something planned and I was too young to stay home alone. Anyway, it was a continual 'fishing trip' excursion...weekly. For decades!!! Personally, I got so sick of the whole concept. Especially when I wanted to sleep in on the weekends. But, no, it was a 3 a.m. wakeup call ---drive for 100s of miles with towing the boat behind his truck, me sleeping in the middle of the seat...going to some godforsaken part of the country that I shared no interest!!

Okay, so now you know I don't like fishing!! But this one time, the story I'm about to tell, was when I was first married. Bud and I had no children yet, it was just the two of us. hehehehe

Mom and Dad had the boat hitched up to the truck the night before. And then, as always, drove a long way. They had planned on staying the weekend and make it a true outing with camping out and all. La, di, da!! I was asked to set the water on his huge garden and feed/water the cat. Sure, ya I can do that!! At least I don't have to go bait a hook! Simple, easy. Something I can handle. No problemo!

Okay....so three days later, they arrive home nearing sunset as I'm sweeping the cat dirt up off the floor and such. Bud is out moving the water/soaker hose for the tomatoes. They pull up into the drive way....mom immediately slams the truck passenger door. Dad stays outside and pretends to be working on the boat and unhitching it and well...you know, the 'man thing'. I knew right off something had happened while they were gone. My mother was always very easy going. She did have a temper, but most always kept it under control. This time was different. I asked her as I propped the broom up against the wall: "What's wrong?" "What happened?"

The story goes like this:

They're out there in the middle of the reservoir, and the boat sprung a leak. Dad, being the fisherman that he is, tried to ignore it while Mom was watching the water seep into the bottom of the boat by her feet. She tells him to head for shore. VERY reluctantly [according to Mom] he starts the motor and slowly heads for land, the boat ramp. By this time, Mom was really livid, 'cause according to her, he went very slow, and continued to have his fish line alongside the boat [what a fisherman would call, 'trolling']. All the time the boat was filling up more quickly because of the boat's movement against the water line. Slowly, the boat and the two of them were getting lower and lower in the water. She also, according to DAD --refused to put on her life jacket; telling him if she drowns it's "his fault".

Well, when they got up to the boat ramp, Dad got out and reached to help Mom out. She was so mad at him, she refused his hand and an argument set forth. With more fisherman/boaters around. Embarrassing for Dad I'm sure!! She finally DID get out of the boat with some fellow fishermen's coaxing.

But I can just picture the ride home!!!! Glad I was grown and didn't have to experience that. When I got home with Bud that night, he and I had a good laugh about the whole thing. I do recall that I had to explain to him that I inherited her temper, so watch out. This was the first time ever he saw my mother mad. A red-headed Irish woman at that.


I can honestly boast say that our daughter inherited the love of the sport. This photo, [tho blurred 'cause it's part of her personal collage of life that's on our hallway wall -and I didn't want to use the flash so not to have the bright spot on the glass] is Irene and her prideful Grandpa [my father] on a fishing trip in the Colorado mountains one Sunday afternoon. You can't see it too well in the photo but Irene is holding her new rod that Grandpa bought her in her right hand! Irene to this day takes her boys on fishing outings in the summer months. Our youngest grandson is me all over...the hammer again-[explanation coming]; while the oldest grandson takes the sport seriously! More power to her and Clint. Get 'em!! But fishing, you guessed, it not for me. I used to get so bored with the trips, I'd sit at the bank of the lake or wherever and skip rocks, 'scaring' the fish away, and my Dad would chew on my butt 'til there was no butt left, and he'd stand back and bark at the hole!! My thoughts on all this 'roughing it' - The whole concept for me and roughing it is to travel and not have a reservation for the hotel/motel room upon arrival. Now THAT'S roughing it!!!

I have actually thought since we're here on the coast to go out in the Gulf and do some deep sea fishing, but that entails work and heat and sweat, and baiting the hook and sore muscles and sunburn and money that I could spend buying a pair of shoes or something....need I say more?


- - -

I could go on and on about my dislike of the sport fishing. At least when my Dad was involved. Once we went fly fishing [without a boat this time, river fishing]...and driving along some god awful rutted mountain road [probably used for logging back in those days] and Dad hit a huge pointed rock in the middle of the road...breaking the oil pan. He left Mom and me on the riverbank while he walked out of this uncharted area to find a cabin and a phone. We were towed home that time!!

Another time, we went fishing for a week, and used their trailer camper. And once again...some unknown territory with narrow rough roads...he got the truck through the two boulders that framed the road...but guess what, the trailer got jammed!!! Yep, that's my Dad. He had to walk out of that spot too, and call triple A and get a jack to get the trailer out! Gawd!!! I hate fishing!!!

Not to mention one time, while out on the highway, the windows open...me sound asleep in the middle between Mom and Dad...a bumble bee flew in and stung me....that's when we all found out I was allergic to bumble bees!! Oh...and I'll leave you with another one of my boredom times...while they were busy fishing, Here it comes...the hammer part now!! Ready? I was on shore, killing red ants [see photo of the hammer, above!!]

Let's just say, I got sick then too!




[I thought I should add a little exaggeration to the story tho...THIS is it. The biggun' that got away! hehehehe]

Please note: Talk To Grams has been having problems with Blogger and she asked me to let everyone know that Nancy has had two units of blood - transfusions overnight at the hospital. She is at the hospital now...please keep the family in your thoughts and prayers.

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As always, I have three items in one blog entry on Sunday's. Today is no different. Green Thumb Sunday, Unconscious Mutterings, and my Sunday Snippet....
[scroll to the end for comment link]




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These three photos show one of our two crepe myrtle trees in bloom. This one, the 'hot pink' is always the first to bloom, while the smaller bush in front of it is lavender...still yet to bloom, but getting buds....






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Play along with your subconscious; Sunday's Word Association.
Join here.

She says ... and I think ...

1. Purchase :: No purchase Necessary, Details Inside!


2. Squeaky clean :: Hair


3. Blended :: Smoothie


4. Wednesday :: Hump Day


5. Function :: Keys


6. Look down :: Snub


7. July? :: Christmas in- [July]


8. Raspberry :: Black Tops ['nother name for Black Raspberries]


9. Assertive :: Pushy


10. Cracker :: Barrel

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I have two things for my snippet today. One is to pay tribute to my late father. Today is father's day, I will be thinking of the good times, the laughter, the heart ache, the strict disciplinarian, the teacher, my mentor; the wonderful man that he was----

[captioning with mouseover]





And the second part of the snippet is, yesterday afternoon, after working in the yard a while [until it got blistering hot] --and the laundry was nearly done, Bud was busy watching one of my all time 'worst' cable stations [Sci Fi], I read some of the many books I've started so I could cool down from the outdoor heat. I soon got bored. I took a shower to rid myself of the sweat and mud from working outdoors planting three new plants in the back yard ---and I took myself to see Kung Fu Panda. Our son called me last week and told me it was an excellent movie. I asked: "Is it better than Shrek?" He answered: "Well, no, but nearly as good." Like I said I was bored staying home. So off I went by myself. And I'm glad I did! This was not as good as the Shrek movies. I thought it's so much BETTER! [...and believe me I LOVE Shrek!] The art work is breathtaking. The oriental theme and the pagodas and the light effects are astounding. [Usually when it's an animated film like this, I find myself watching and normally in awe of the art work. But this was just plain tops!] Okay, I love everything Oriental anyway...but wow, the two cats, the tigress and the snow leopard...mesmerizing. The Mantis...the monkey, the master ---just, what can I say. It's stupendous. Right down to the queue behind Master Shifu's head [I believe he's a red panda! --adorable. Voice over for the Master is Dustin Hoffman!] A great family film. Both for kids and for adults alike. Go see it. It's worth the price. If you can't find the extra cash...make sure you rent it when it's on DVD. I really don't think you'll be disappointed!!! It's now on my 'to buy list!'

[panda photo courtesy of IMDB site]