“A wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard...
Why can't we all be like that bird?”
― Edward Hersey Richards




my POETRY | ANNI'S BOOK CRITIQUES | my ART | my BIRD photography | MLB | NFL | hurricanes






Tickle Me...Elmo...Tahoe


Our Pretty Kitty...
[she comes running when I say:
"Where's my pretty kitty"?...
TAHOE
Her LONG whiskers tickle!!


Camera Critter Linked Meme Button on my sidebar





WEEKEND FUNNIES



RATED: GENERAL AUDIENCES


In an insane asylum, three patients are up for release. The Doctor decides to give them an intelligence test. He turns to the first man and asks, "What is three times three?"
"274," he replies.
The Doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The Doctor turns to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," says the third man proudly.
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you arrive at that?"
"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."



RATED: BOTH GENERAL AND MATURE AUDIENCES:

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.



RATED: MATURE AUDIENCES

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he said. "What myths are those?"
"Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"It's Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba!"

20 comments :

  1. Very pretty, pretty kitty!! and simply loved the funnies, happy weekend!!

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  2. Very pretty kitty and funny funnies. :)

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  3. Hahaha! Good ones today!
    PS - I love the new header. :)

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  4. Your Tahoe is a pretty kitty. Cute photos, Anni! Loved the funnies, have a great weekend!

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  5. Cute kitty pics....I love your header..did you draw that??? You are so talented!!! Have a great weekend n stay cool! You guys just can't get a break from this intense heat wave!!!

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  6. that last guy is fast!
    cute kitty.

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  7. Anonymous8/06/2011

    You always make me laugh, thanks. I have missed you. This is Denise.

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  8. Thanks for the laughs this a.m.

    What a beautiful cat! Such a sweet face and pretty whiskers!

    Have a great Saturday!

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  9. Tahoe is a darling. I miss having a cat.
    Thanks for the laughs, too, Anni.
    — K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  10. Love your cat! Very pretty.

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  11. What a cute kitty!

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  12. Thanks Anni for the laughs.
    Mama Bear

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  13. I am back from England and now Rosie's whiskers tickle me again ! I had a great time.

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  14. Yay Ms. Anni Mom made it back intime for Saturday funnies!! Oh Tahoe is a beauty...you cracked us up with 'tickle me Tahoe'!!
    We missed you and are glad to be back.
    Hugs Madi and Mom

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  15. Looks like Tahoe gives you some good Kitty Cuddles. Thanks for the giggles!
    Robin

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  16. Such cool pics of a gourgeous (? spelling) cat. And thank you for the funnies!!

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  17. You have a beautiful kitty.

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  18. Cute kitty, and cute jokes......lol

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  19. Love the kitty pics, and your jokes are so funny.

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  20. Tahoe is very cute.
    Thank you for funnies.

    Regards!

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