“A wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard...
Why can't we all be like that bird?”
― Edward Hersey Richards




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I'm feeling a little crabby today....




My six words for the day
are the same as the blog title...
"I'm feeling a little crabby today"
[a play on words to tie-in with entire blog post]




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CAMERA CRITTERS





A crab I spotted coming from under a rock in a tidepool offshore.










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WEEKEND FUNNIES


Why Women Are Crabby


We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.


Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?


When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right.




Bite me.



cartoons were sent to me thru email
I don't know who to credit
and copyright infringement not intended
story- also shared with me thru email


25 comments :

  1. Love it! You have captured "womanhood" in a witty way...

    Love the new KITTY....
    Smiles and chuckles,
    Jane (Artfully graced)

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  2. LOL! I enjoyed the giggle - great many truths in there! Have a lovely week-end!

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  3. Bwahaha! Thanks for the laugh of the morning!

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  4. Ahhh Annie, don't be crabby you seemed to have survived it all with such good humor! :)

    Cute Crab pic!

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  5. Neat capture of the crab, Anni! I just hate those awful hot flashes I am having.

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  6. Hilarious! And so true. Thanks for a good week-end laugh! We are mighty, that's for sure.

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  7. What a fun Blog!!! Boom & Gary of the Vermilon River,Canada.

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  8. Oh, I thought you had written this yourself...sounded exactly like something you would say...
    Trust you to always bring a smile or a laugh.
    I love you, Annie

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  9. Cute crab for camera critters. Womanhood would indeed make a saint crabby. I just heard a good one from my husband this morning, after asking him if he'd be out today and finding out he'll be gone for several hours. Yesterday he was gone for 10 hours, refereeing basketball, but he didn't tell me about it until yesterday morning, or about today's half of the tournament until today, "Because if I tell you about it in advance, you'll just forget about it anyway."
    We have agree that a calendar with his schedule written on it would be a good idea.
    Meanwhile, thanks for your comment on my camera critters!
    -- K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  10. Nice crab photos... sorry you're feeling "crabby". My name is John - Every letter I get is a "Dear John" letter, People use my name when they have to go to the bathroom, and I'm also the name of the guy who uses prostitutes. I can understand such crabbiness at times! :)

    Thanks for an eye opening post!
    John

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  11. Wow that a beautiful crab, good timing on getting the shot. Ha! good weekend funnies!

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  12. 'kay... that sure explains it, heee hee heeeee. hope you'll feel more cheerful soon.

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  13. Happy Saturday! I love your design!
    I forgot to do my six words.... well, for now my Camera Critters will have to do!

    My CC

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  14. I can see why you are a little crabby today. You made me laugh.

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  15. I hope after seeing all the cutties creature, you're not feeling so crabby anymore. Have a lovely weekend!

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  16. this post has banished a bit of the crabbiness away. for a moment!!

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  17. I am sorry you are crabby, but I love the picture of the crab. I have never seen a crab in person yet!

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  18. This post is so true and so humorous at the same time; it almost has me peeing in my pants (and not from Motherhood).

    So, so, true to life and the pictures and cartoons depict it so well. Beautiful blog to boot!

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  19. That's about the best description of womanhood that I've ever read! No wonder we get crabby!!!

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  20. That's a FANTASTIC blog post Anni :-).

    However can I just share that we women do get our revenge. Once we are past the hot flushes and have no more cycles we feel fantastic, while our mere male discovers his buds beginning to knock on his knees and the prostate can make a man prostrate.

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  21. I linked to your fantastic blog from my blog, Hootin' Anni, this was a fantastic post :-)

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  22. Now I know why you are crabby hehehe..

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  23. Snap, snap, what a crab :D
    I liked this post!

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  24. Ahh, yes, the joys of womanhood. Makes me a bit crabby from time to time as well. Thanks for playing 6WS!

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  25. Thanks for the good laugh Anni and oh thanks for the comment on my daughter's drawing. Yes it was my daughter who sketched the image of our pet Oreo.

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