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Got a good reason For taking the easy way out




laugh and the world laughs with you....kinda PG17 rated





My Six Words...

Difference between try - triumph is umph.

I saw something similar to this online days ago, and shortened it to six words for today hoping it would still come across as something to live by. Afterall, if you don't try there will be no triumph in your days. So, put a little 'umph' in your day by trying harder in what you do.

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CAMERA CRITTERS

This is what science calls an anole. Pronounced: anool. Green in their natural habitat, the can TRY and triumph when stressed and change color. I've seen them after they spot me watching them, I've seen the process of their skin go from a bright yellow-green to a drab wood like brown. Nearly camouflaging themselves to blend into their environment and become nearly invisible. They're seen aplenty in the southern states of America. Originally from the islands in the Caribbean Sea. They're rarely seen any higher than 15 feet above ground; mainly in bushes, trees and on ground. Their diet consists mostly of small insects. [I wish they'd eat fire ants!! LOL] The males have a dewlap that will extend and it's a dull pink. Usually, during courting. The female will lay her clutches of eggs near or underground. Also, they can drop their tails if needed, only to regenerate a new one. [If you look closely at the one in the photo, the tail is not pointed at the end...it is growing a new one.] Anoles can become 'pets'. They sell them in the pet stores in the reptile section. But, they don't make good pets as their natural instincts will show signs of stress and they sometimes refuse to eat.

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WEEKEND FUNNIES

And, for concluding, a funny story. Reportedly a 'true' story, but there may be a lesson to learn here---along with a laugh!

I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was
"something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me.
"I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking
stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!)
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.
"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" My wife wanted to know.
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma."
(You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but
this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.).
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting, " he murmured. "Mr. And Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen . . . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . . Um. Masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this. "So, Ernie's just . . . Just . Excited," my wife offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just . . . That . . I'm picturing you pulling on its . . its . . teeny little . ." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.


Were you paying attention above, by the anole photo....ummmm, they lay EGGS!!

26 comments :

  1. I so agree with you and the umph. That was sop clever my friend. I just bust out laughing. I had never seen an anole. It looks just like our gecko's over here. I just love the lizard joke. That was just too damn funny. The wife was hysterical. LOL Have a great weekend :)

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  2. You crack me up, lol

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  3. Hi again! Love all the funnies above!

    My 64U today:

    Such wisdom in a few letters

    Have a great Six Word Saturday,

    LOLA:)

    PS Mine this time is HERE. Hope you can join me!

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  4. I love it! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

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  5. WhOa! and holy self-gratifying lizards! I think your reptilian buddy propably originated the "umpth" in triumpth!

    SparkleFarkle~~~~~*

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  6. SparkleFarkle Yes!!! You're the first to associate the whole blog with the whole 'umph' of it all. rofl.

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  7. Thom Ya, we call 'em geckos on the mainland too, but technically they're anole.

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  8. great post great sentiment. have a good one anni.

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  9. LOL! that last story has definitely made my day! Thanks for sharing and bringing a smile to my face today :)

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  10. That is an amazing photo Anni.
    Stopping by to say hello.
    Have a great day!

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  11. On that was a good one, Anni! Thanks, once again, for the laugh!!!

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  12. Oh my gosh that is so funny!

    I liked the tri umph too! So true.

    sandie

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  13. Love your six words. I think I'll put some "umph" in this day.

    PG

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  14. Great post Anni, lovely photo and funny story.

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  15. Nice post, and very educational.
    Mama Bear

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  16. Hahaha ! very funny story and the green little "lizzard" is so cute.

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  17. Awwww.....I love lizards!! They're super cute!!

    Happy SWS!!!

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  18. That's a good one, Anni! I love your six words. And, I've been meaning to ask you...in what podunk town in Nebraska were you born? Just curious.

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  19. I had read this on an email not long ago ... too funny, but something dumb ol' me would prob do.

    Have a lovely PINK weekend.
    TTFN ~ Marydon

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  20. He's doing a good job of blending in! :) Great shot.

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  21. I've never seen an anole before. How interesting that they change colour!

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  22. Gained another critter information. Thanks. The whole post was a fun read. Definitely agree with adding umph in what we do. :)

    Happy weekend!

    A Bear Sighting

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  23. Beautiful photo of the critter, lovely post I enjoy reading your weekend funnies.

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  24. We both went with green critters in green leaves - I think we're having a psychic connection this weekend. Moooommmmm, she's copying me : ) Remember those days?

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