This cute little Fiat just screamed to me....it said "Here's Lookin' At You, Kid!"
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A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."
Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.
After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"
The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream."
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Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
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Eddie was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Then the other driver, in his car, hit the pig.
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The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying:
Slow down Old People's Home. - It had no effect.
At the next meeting the decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign:
Danger - Children at Play. The result was no discernible reduction in traffic speed.
Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested they try a sign with:
Nudist Colony. - As a result of the Nudist Colony notice, drivers in their vehicles now crawl through the village.
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As Retired Lieutenant Commander Andrew Craig was driving his old car down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Andrew, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M275. Please be careful!'
'Botheration' said Andrew, 'Its not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'