“A wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard...
Why can't we all be like that bird?”
― Edward Hersey Richards




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Let's Talk TERNkey -Turkey - Whatever....

A holiday is coming up this next week, and I probably won't be online much. I wanted to stop and give thanks for all I have in my own little world...and that includes YOU who so often stop by to give a shout out and encouragement at Hootin' Anni's!!! You're dear and precious to me. For those that are observing Thanksgiving here in the U S of A, have a safe and wonderful day filled with good things both in food and company!!! For everyone...have a wonderful week ahead. Will see you again, after the holiday!! Now, shall we talk turkey TERNkey?---------------


Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture asks the second vulture: "Does this taste funny to you?"

turkey vulture

 

How do you get down off an elephant? You don't! You get down off a duck.

migrating ducks [redhead]



Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense? A: I'll tell you tomorrow!

wild turkeys



It seems the United States' FAA has a unique device for testing windshield strength on airplanes. It is a gun that fires a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at about the same speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the impact, it could survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British wanted to test the device on a new high speed locomotive they are developing, so they borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded a chicken, and fired. The bird not only shattered the windshield, but also went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The stunned Brits asked the FAA to re-check the procedure to see if they had missed something. The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and came back with just one recommendation. "Thaw the bird out first."

rhode island red rooster



Two statisticians went duck hunting. A mallard flew overhead and one statistician fired just to the right of the bird. The other statistician fired just to the left of the bird. They turned to each other in glee, and congratulated each other... "On average, he's dead!", they cried! The mallard continued his migration.

mallard duckling



A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am but was caught by the Chief Petty Officer. Upon hearing the sailor's lame excuse for his tardiness, the officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you! The sailor picked up the broom, As he began to sweep, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the gull off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss. It left, only to return and land once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result. He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the blasted gull returned.
When morning came, the chief petty officer returned to check his wayward sailor's progress.. "What have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?"
"Honest, chief," came the reply, "I TOSSED A TERN ALL NIGHT AND COULDN'T SWEEP A LINK!"

royal tern

36 comments :

  1. Just adapted the suspense joke and tried on my son - he threw a pillow at me!

    Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne

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  2. Happy Thanksgiving and may all things beautiful come into your little world~

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  3. Great photos of all kinds of birds. The jokes were a great addition. I loved the one about the bird test. I had to laugh out loud over that one. I hope everyone at Hootin' Anni's has a grand time celebrating their blessings around the dinner table next week. God has been so good to me and my family that it may take me til next time to say all my thanks. Well, dear friend have a fabulous day and fototastic weekend! Happy #SWF!

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  4. Have geat holidays :-)

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  5. Have a wondersome and flavourful holiday; I'll think of you as we're chowing down. Just hope I don't choke from laughing when remembering these jokes... think I'll try them out on the Great Scot, hehe.

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  6. LOL - a great way to start my Friday! Thanks for the good chuckles, Anni! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving week! You know I will be looking forward to your photos and tales, when you return to us!

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  7. I can't decide whether my favourite is the duckling (cuteness goes a long way!) or the vulture (I really love that we can see the red head!!)...

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  8. Too funny!
    Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for you too!

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  9. You are one of my blessings, too, Anni. I enjoy your humor and your wonderful pictures very, very much! Happy Thanksgiving! :-)

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  10. OH GOODNESS! I totally am still laughing at a couple of these! Always a real treat to read your funny stuff. We shall see you when we see you, I know how the holidays can keep us, well tied to the oven when we're not hauling the vacuum around right! I'm finishing up some turkey goody bags, as we are celebrated family thankfulness with everyone this Sunday (since some members won't be eating with us on Thursday) but grandchild # 4 has a piano concert on Sunday as well, and after we have finished enjoying (one turkey no longer in suspense) I/we have grandchild # 5 who will be turning 5 that same day! WooHoo- lots happening here too! A very Merry and thankful Thanksgiving day to you and all your loved ones, enjoy....keep telling those fun tales too!

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  11. Beautiful photos! - especially the rooster. Loved the jokes, too!
    Happy Thanksgiving to you! I hope next week is just wonderful for you and your family!
    Lea

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  12. Loved the one about the hunting statisticians!

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  13. ROFL thaw the bird first... hoooo haaaa... that duckling is awesome and that is a cool chicken strutting...enjoy your time off and holiday fun. while my camera was on the blink, the turkey vultures were circling right over our back yard, one was 20 feet above my head and no long lens...

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  14. The jokes are a "HOOT" (ba-dum-bump) I can't wait to read them to my hubby. If I don't get back to you, have a wonderful, family-filled, happy and thankful Thanksgiving!

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  15. I can't wait to tell these to my daughter!

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  16. Thanks for sharing the beauty and the laughs!! Always the best way to start the day!! Hope you have a great weekend!!

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  17. Bravo Annni this is a great post...Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family...see you in December
    Hugs madi and mom

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  18. hahahahahahahahahaha. Thank you, Hootin' Anni!

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  19. I love all the birds you captured!

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  20. so many jokes. you have me going ... i am curious for the answer. ( :
    on the E. Lizard Breath Speaks blog i have a heron ... i wonder if Eileen will be able to get her Saturday Critters up and running. i miss her. poor thing.
    so i did my Willy Nilly on my other blog ... i linked up from my other blog today http://hike2forty.blogspot.com/

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  21. So funny!!! I wish you the best Thanksgiving ever! Will thanksgiving be at your house, or will you be going somewhere? I am thankful for YOU, that you are one of my dear blog followers. Stay warm, Anni.

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  22. Now this was fun. You found some great ones here today and made me laugh. Thanks & a very Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.

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  23. You are so good at giving me a chuckle, Anni! Love the tern story. Hope you have a wonderful holiday.

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  24. You've got me laughing my butt off here. I love these. I must be a little slow though because I had to read the one about getting down off an elephant 3 times before it sunk in :)
    Have a Happy Thanksgiving

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  25. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, don't eat tooooo much ternkey.

    Thanks for the humor. I liked the clown one.

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  26. Very funny, I liked the down joke the best.

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  27. Enjoyed the jokes. Have a happy Thanksgiving.

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  28. My tern to laugh....and you're a hoot!
    Now a serious thought: "Thanksgiving is the best holiday. There's no religious connection. It is purely for giving thanks for what you have including family and friends."

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  29. You had me laughing... and I needed that. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

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  30. Smiling at you here in CO, Annie. I hope you and your Family enjoy a very Happy Thanksgiving.

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  31. Loved those. Thanks for the laughs, Anni. Enjoy your holiday and I give thanks for your friendship, too :) Happy Thanksgiving!

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  32. So funny, and lots of nice bird photos, but my favorite is the baby Mallard, so cute!

    I wrote a song about small, burrowing animals.
    I decided it was time to gopher baroque.

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  33. Ha ha - very amusing and what lovely shots. Have a great week.

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  34. Love the wild turkey pics - very apropos :) I hope you have a beautiful Monday and a great Thanksgiving!!

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  35. Haha! Thanks for the chuckle!
    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, my sweet friend!

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