A holiday is coming up this next week, and I probably won't be online much. I wanted to stop and give thanks for all I have in my own little world...and that includes YOU who so often stop by to give a shout out and encouragement at Hootin' Anni's!!! You're dear and precious to me. For those that are observing Thanksgiving here in the U S of A, have a safe and wonderful day filled with good things both in food and company!!! For everyone...have a wonderful week ahead. Will see you again, after the holiday!! Now, shall we talk
Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture asks the second vulture: "Does this taste funny to you?"
How do you get down off an elephant? You don't! You get down off a duck.
migrating ducks [redhead]
Q: How do you keep a turkey in suspense? A: I'll tell you tomorrow!
It seems the United States' FAA has a unique device for testing windshield strength on airplanes. It is a gun that fires a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at about the same speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the impact, it could survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British wanted to test the device on a new high speed locomotive they are developing, so they borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded a chicken, and fired. The bird not only shattered the windshield, but also went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The stunned Brits asked the FAA to re-check the procedure to see if they had missed something. The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and came back with just one recommendation. "Thaw the bird out first."
rhode island red rooster
Two statisticians went duck hunting. A mallard flew overhead and one statistician fired just to the right of the bird. The other statistician fired just to the left of the bird. They turned to each other in glee, and congratulated each other... "On average, he's dead!", they cried! The mallard continued his migration.
A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am but was caught by the Chief Petty Officer. Upon hearing the sailor's lame excuse for his tardiness, the officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you! The sailor picked up the broom, As he began to sweep, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the gull off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss. It left, only to return and land once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result. He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the blasted gull returned.
When morning came, the chief petty officer returned to check his wayward sailor's progress.. "What have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?"
"Honest, chief," came the reply, "I TOSSED A TERN ALL NIGHT AND COULDN'T SWEEP A LINK!"