my POETRY | ANNI'S BOOK CRITIQUES | my ART | my BIRD photography | MLB | NFL | hurricanes



Got a good reason For taking the easy way out
Black and White Background courtesy of free backgrounds




Two is company....three's a crowd - AKA - Christmas in July




As for the Tropical Storm, "DON"...we here in Corpus, got nary a drop of rain. Hardly a breeze...very sultry and overcast. That's the whole extent of our day yesterday and this morning!!! He decided to make landfall over Brownsville, Texas. And of course, that makes us more 'brown' than Brownsville, which will be more "GREEN" in a day or two. But, it's my understanding...according to the Nat'l Weather Channel...the rains petered out THERE too. He just completely fizzled out in the end. Figures. Typical male. [kidding] Now, it'll be a day for us getting things back outdoors that we stored in the garage. Y'know...those kinda things that would've been dangerous projectiles in storms?!! Ya, those things.









Linked CAMERA CRITTER MEME BUTTON found on sidebar





WEEKEND FUNNIES


Company Holiday Party

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.

********************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other type of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty

*****************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange - no gift exchanges are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is very little for a gift.
NO GIFT EXCHANGES WILL BE ALLOWED.

********************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party-the days are so short this time of year-or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food - we suggest for those people with high blood problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.
Sorry! Did I miss anything?
Patty

******************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshiping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks.
Okay???
Patty

*****************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day.
Could we lighten up?
Please?????????
Also the company has changed their mind in announcing the special announcement at the gathering. You will get a notification in the mail sent to your home.

************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #%&$**@ Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The %#*&^%@*%^Holiday Party

I have no #%&*@*^ idea what the announcement is all about. What the %#&^!@ do I care...I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO GET!!!!!!!!!!!! You change your address now and your are dead!!!!!!!!!!!!
No more changes of address will be allowed in my office. Try to come in and change your address, I will have you hung from the ceiling in the warehouse!!!!!!!!!!!
Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!!
We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now! HA! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die you hear me!!!!!!!!!!
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

*******************
FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays!


25 comments :

  1. LOL @ the P.C. announcements for a Christmas party. We went through similiar announcements before I retired....
    I wish you all could get some rain we need it too but your area is worse.
    Happy Saturday
    C

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG the funny was really funny BUT I can see that happening...LOL Loved your little turtle photos. I always love pictures of any wildlife!
    Hope you get some rain soon! ~ Have a super Saturday
    {{{HUGS}}}
    Donna

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice critter n reflection shots! LOL on the funnies! Only in a America...when you think of it...it's kinda sad!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh i'm sorry you didn't get any rain, dang! what a jip!

    that holiday party is hilarious, sadly that is the way things are here now....but thanks for the laugh!

    super cute turtles!!

    have a great weekend :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love those turtles on the log. :))

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love the turtle pictures! Also got a good laugh out of the Christmas party story.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Loved your photos of the turtles - and their shadows!! Excellent shot! The company party would be totally funny - yes, I laughed - but it seems to reflect modern thinking more and more. I think I'll make a copy for my boss, lol!

    Off to work here - you have great week-end!

    ReplyDelete
  8. When I was young we had a turtle named Lukas :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great shots of the turtles and I'm glad Don passed you by. Friends were flying into Dallas this morning and I was a bit worried.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anni, I love the photos and the Christmas announcement was hilarious, but also probably very true for those organizing one.

    Wish the rain had reached you. We finally had rain overnight on Thursday but we need a lot more.

    Thanks for stopping by the Writing Nook and commenting on my bird experience.

    Blessings,
    Mary

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sorry you didn't get rain, Anni.
    Love the turtle photos. I always love turtle photos, especially turtles on logs.
    Laughed at the holiday party notices, but felt sorry for poor Patty. LOL

    —Kay, Alberta, Canada

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ha Ha as usual!! Boom & Gary of the Vermilon River, Canada.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nice photos.
    Thank you for funnies :)

    Regards!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Anni,

    Lol about the employee party, but it is sad too.

    I LOVE your turtle pictures, and am glad that the storm bypassed you, even if it meant no real rain. Dang!

    I hope that you have a great weekend. We are headed over to the valley for a wedding soon. It is a very pretty day for a drive.

    Take care,

    Kathy

    ReplyDelete
  15. The turtles are adorable.
    and no, sadly NOT only in America.... (that was very funny, I needed a good laugh, today!!)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Quite adorable. What fun shots of beautiful creatures!

    ReplyDelete
  17. My hubbys work had a similar e mail going around the office in reference to all the silliness surrounding Christmas and the parties etc. My girl friend says her dad said it best when he was interviewed on the evening news last December regarding taking down the Nativity at the Denver City and County Bldg. He said "You can not take CHRIST out of CHRISTmas so just avoid the manage scene if it bugs you. I think the political correctness in our world is what has us in the horrid mess we are in! You can not please everyone all all the time!
    Poor Patty! She must be exhausted!

    ReplyDelete
  18. ROFL....poor Patty Lewis!!! Omigosh, I've got tears running down my face from laughing so much. That pretty much sums up trying to plan any kind of party anymore, though, with all the various ethnic groups! lol

    Great news that the latest storm didn't affect you at all and although I know you need rain, it's still better to get nothing than to get damage from a tropical storm!

    Awwww I just love those turtles! Did you ever have those little ones everyone seemed to have when you were a kid? My brother Mike had a couple and I remember loving to pick them up and pet them as if they were a dog! lol xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hahaha!! Love the joke, very good. And your photos are so cute.

    Have a great week.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What great turtle photos!!! They're so cute! And the memos are hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. And thank you so much for the sweet comments on my post and art piece. I'm really glad you happened to stop by and see it!

    xoEsther

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anni, I love all your turtles. It is always this time of year to see them out of the water suning themselves. Great funnies. I hope you are having a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Terrific turtle shots. Joke...only too close to the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Pointedly shows how ridiculous all the PC-BS is.

    ReplyDelete

.