“A wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard...
Why can't we all be like that bird?”
― Edward Hersey Richards




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Smack dab in the middle of Texas!!!


In case you're interested, this is Texan Talk...
Toad choker – this is also referred to as a frog strangler or a turd floater, and means a heavy torrential downpour. Since most of Texas is pretty flat, heavy rains pose a true flash flooding hazard as well as lots of issues with closed roads.

Greeze and Earl – despite what you might think, these are actually components to your car. Greeze, otherwise known as grease, and earl or oil, often cause stains on your hands or clothes. These stains are considered to be greezy, and are really problematic in hot weather. Of course you also have to constantly keep checking the pressure in your tiyures (tires) because the hot temperatures cause problems there as well.

Bowed up – when someone is really angry and is taking on an aggressive body stance, they are said to be all bowed up. Kids that are talking back to their parents will often be told not to get all bowed up or they will get a "whipping".

Jaw Jackin – just talking to hear yourself or talking smack to someone. Jaw jacking is often combined with getting bowed up.

Chunk – Ok, this one is really weird. If you are throwing something a short distance they say they are chunking it. Don't know why Texans don't say chucking it like the rest of the world but there ya go!

Tea – tea is always iced tea and is always sweet iced tea unless you specifically ask for unsweetened. If you have never had southern sweet tea you may want to try a small taste before ordering a whole glass. Let's just say it is sort of like drinking icing!

Not plum but pert near – this is a highly descriptive and phonetic way to say everything isn't exactly perfect but it is close enough to be workable. If someone asks you how you are doing you can always answer "fair to midlin", which is the equivalent of not plum but pert near!

Fix'in – this is the ultimate in Texan speak. Fix'in, which is not said fixing but is sometimes pronounced as "fiddin", is a way to indicate that at some yet to be determined time some action is going to be taken. An example of this would be "I'm fix'in to go to the store". Notice this doesn't indicate when, and can be also used to indicate you are thinking about the possibility doing something sometime.

"You can put your boots in the oven but that doesn't make them biscuits"
(You can say whatever you want about something but that doesn't change what it is)

"It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs"
(We could really use some rain)

"Everytime I stand up, my mind sits down."
(Unable to think clearly.)

Poor - examples:
I'm so broke, I can't pay attention.
I ate so many armadillos when I was young I still roll up into a ball when I hear a dog bark.

Immoral - example:
She's just naturally horizontal.

Happier than a two-peckered dog - meaning:
Really  Happy

Fixin to fetch a cold one -meaning:
act of grabbing a beer


[clipart images not mine...borrowed from Google Texan Clipart Search]


26 comments :

  1. OMG....my cheeks hurt from laughing. One correction...I never heard a true Texan say, "whipping"...it's a "whippin"...no g on the end....just like fixin...we don't enunciate that g. My hubby always says, "we're gonna have a real turd floater." That reminds me....I just visited a blog from Va. that she posted a picture of a van that said, "turd busters" on the side. I told her that she has to know that business has had someone call and say they were constipated and needed someone to come bust their turds...then they might need a turd floater. :) that was uncalled for, I know, but I just had to tell you that. You started it by talking about a turd floater. :)

    And yeah, hubby used to say he was gonna go get a cold one..and yes, that was always a beer....just like when I way I'm gonna' go get a Coke, I mean any carbonated drink that might be in my fridge at the moment.

    I just love your blog. I always leave with a ten gallon smile on my face!

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    1. ...that's why whipping is in quotations. I've heard it pronounced like whuupin' more so than whippin'

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  2. You always make me smile, thanks.

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    1. ...anything to help you enjoy your day, I say Ms. D

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  3. I actually know some folks who talk pretty much like this. And oh, we could use a toad choker now...

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    1. ...we sure could. Seems there is just a fleeting moment of a threat of the clouds burstin' open, but then, within minutes the skies clear again.

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  4. Most of my family live somewhere in Texas, but since they are transplants they don't talk like that, but they picked up the accent. When I visit them I notice I pick it up too. How you Texans can make two syllables out of every single syllable word has amazed me all my life. Example: bells = bay ells. :-)

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  5. Those are so funny! I've never heard of most of them, but "pert near" is one that my Dad used to say, and I've heard other old farmers say it. Thanks for the laugh.

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    1. Oh Bud still uses Pert-near even today, and he's a full fledged Coloradoan.

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  6. After living in Texas for 28 years I did manage to pick up the phrase 'fixin' to' and still use it! Sometimes I do miss Texas.

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    1. I don't think I could go to another state. At least not at this point in my life. Tomorrow may be a different story, but for now...Texas it is.

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  7. Too funny Anni...do you have a hidden microphone here at our house?
    One of the professors I used to work with teased me about saying
    Please do this 'right quick'!!
    Hugs C

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    1. I used to say -a lot- "Right Backatcha Babe" 'til I realized that I could be sued for sexual harassment. LOLOL

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  8. HA---I recognize some of them here in Tennessee... Of course, we say SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET Tea... ha ha.. AND--we definitely say 'fixin' up here... I'm fixin to eat some lunch soon!!!!

    'Pert near' is said here... 'Earl' is said.... 'Far' is said for fire... Yander is when go to down yander around the next corner!!!!

    Love dialects... SO neat.
    Hugs,
    Betsy

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    1. Never could quite figure out "Earl" for oil. Wherever that comes from, I'll never know.

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  9. Those were so funny I needed a good chuckle for today.
    Thanks for that Texan humor.
    Hugs

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    1. Sharon, now your link says your blog has been removed?!!!! Try and go back to your admin and 'undelete it'.

      Glad you got a chuckle.

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  10. YIKES, I have never heard any of these!! I LOVE your header!

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  11. I actually knew what a few of these were so I think I could make it in Texas...lol

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    1. sure you can make it...just fine down here. Come on...take the trip.

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  12. You just out do yourself every day!!! I know all that Texas Talk.....it's my LANGUAGE!!! I was fix'in to tell you! What in the world would we do without 'fixin to' and 'y'all?' Why I pert near couldn't do it!! We say 'Fair to middlin'.....and halfway to Odessa!'

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    1. Y'all come back now. y'hear?!!

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  13. I was corrected once by a real Southerner that Y'all means one person and All Y'all means every one being addressed. Many of your Texas dialects sound Southern and even West Virginian! Loved this blog! My Grandpa used to say he was going to "hightail it home."

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  14. Being a born and bred south Texan I can relate. However I am not guilty of eating an armadillo. Have had a lunch of roadrunner for medicinal purposes. It worked too.

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