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To be the disciplinarian, or not to be...that is the question

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[potted next to our patio]
April 2010

If you'd like to skip my commentary on Monday Morsels just below and leave your words of wisdom now...


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Once again, recently, the subject of spanking a child comes to the newsstands. Well, at least for me, through online sites. And the controversy and debate continues! I, for one, believe that a swat on the butt during the formative years of a child does a helluva lot of good. Both my parents were strict disciplinarians. They believed that nurturing a child was their 'job'. [of course with me I was fortunate enough to have the normal childhood of having BOTH parents involved in my upbringing, and 'normal' life of a mother at home and a father working hard to make ends meet for his family of seven] And a good job they did. Now, I was spanked. Slapped even when those four letter words would slip through my tongue. The spanking actually taught me that my wrong doing was something that created punishment. I never had those infamous current ideas of the 'child-rearing gurus'....those "time outs" that are popular these days. I learned a lesson in my youth, that doing something wrong and getting a strong disciplinary action against my errors was the justified payment of those actions!! Now, the article I recently read online states that if you spank a child it doesn't help...."there is a lack of long-term effectiveness of behavior-changing tactic" and the pediatricians tell the young parents that 'time outs' will help the child think of their actions by reflecting on their behavior and the consequences. For me, that's plain B S. As a child...I was disciplined strongly either by a physical slap now and then, or by punishment of being assigned a task around the house or yard that I did NOT like. Reminiscent of behavioral structure the jail/prison would assign to those who did wrong in the eyes of the justice system before the civil right activists took over. Read the article...

Hear me out. If your child has done a wrong thing [or think back to your youth] --- to my way of thinking the quick slap on the cheek [either one....upper facial or the posterior side] is far more effective...it's a stark, startling action that makes a child stop and think immediately that the much deserved action of slapping/spanking is a "NOW"...and it'll make the toddler learn quickly. Kinda like you put your finger on a hot stove, you're gonna get burned type thing. NOT any time out, where a child of mischief or lack of respect of person or property ---not where they can sit and contemplate what revenge they can muster up to get even. I say the sting of a good hard swat on the butt far outweighs sitting 'em down for the 'time out' reflections...

I recall one comment left in my blog entry recently regarding the death sentence and how the criminal should be put in prison for life instead ---that "prison is far worse". I couldn't fathom that at all. American prisons are nothing but a 5 star hotel for the culprits and their treatment...better INSIDE the cell than out in the real world. They have free medical, free gyms, free libraries, free food, free this, free that....they're living like royalty....because their civil rights are withstanding. That is why such a high percentage of inmates get released on good behavior only to purposely commit a crime to return to their cell ---------they live BETTER in prison.

It's a comparison here...if you're a parent...teach them by disciplining them with a controlled amount of forceful action...don't treat them like a 'pampered' prisoner where they can sit all day ...if they are treated like royalty and you sit them on their butts to have some 'time out' in their 'cell'...they're gonna end up doing something to return to that easy life and can't live out in the real world!!

Why even in nature you'll see a mother swat their cub/kitten/pup ---to keep them in line, teaching them the ways of life.

All to sum this entry, for me persaonaly....I can't understand the logic of the 'expert' advice on this at all. These so called professionals are demented. My opinion, of course.

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I remember my devout mother reminding me so many times as I raised my own two children -for those who live by the Bible:
--- Proverbs 13:24

--- Proverbs 23:13

POSTED: Monday, April 19th, 2010
5:40 A.M.


  1. I couldn't agree with you more! If a toddler runs out into the street, paddle him a bit. Talking calmly does nothing. I think the fact that children have been coddled in this generation is one of the reasons society is so f'd up.

    Oh I could go on and on. lol

  2. And you can see the pricklies in the background!

  3. Super lovely..the cactus blossom..is gorgeous! Wonderful work! Magical!

  4. Beautiful flower! Aoooooutch! I got to close....
    Well done!


    Now, I love your Cactus Blossom very much.
    Wonderful photo.

    About the spanking...I am really against it, especially in school.What you said about a quick slap on the legs/hands will do, it will be quick, not humiliating and a sharp reminder. I have never been spank by my own parents and I do not do that to my kids, not even when they were almost like devils. LOL

    Ex who kicked me was abused, physically and sexually. That is not saying I forgave him but that was how his family was and they thought it was alright to do that to my kids too.


  6. Did I tell you that your blog has IMPROVED A LOT.
    I noticed that you even put a comment for those who do not wish to read the whole post. YOU ARE SUCH A REMARKABLE AND CONSIDERATE FRIEND and EXCEPTIONAL BLOGGER! BRAVO! LOVE YOU!

  7. Anonymous4/19/2010

    that's a beautifully-colored flower!

  8. Sh@kira@ I know just how you feel about abuse....if it's not in a controlled environment, it can get lethal. That's why I reiterated that it should be controlled not by force temper.

  9. I love the combination of colours here. Thanks for visiting.

  10. What a beautiful flower !
    children need limits, that's for sure. I am against spanking but a little slap on the posterior doesn't harm anybody. There are other punishments then physical once.

  11. Beautiful vibrant flower, love it! Thanks for the visit and happy weekdays!


  12. I have to say that the pendulum has swung way too far over on the side of coddling!!

    Lovely, gorgeous flower!

  13. I agree with you totally.

  14. love the color of that flower!

  15. Anonymous4/19/2010

    Your cactus blossom is beautiful. It looks like an orchid to me.

    I'm so with you on a good swat on the ass never hurt. That's the problem nowdays is that many things it's abuse. BS!!! My friend was a detective in the Honolulu Police Department, now she is a Lieutenant and she told me sometimes even the way I played with the kids could be considered by some, as to rough and abusive. I kept saying I'm just playing with them. How sad is that. Discipline should be left up to the parents. I got my ass beat many times growing up and I deserved it. It made me be more respectful and know that rules are meant to be followed (now I love to break them LOL)

    And in our prisons...hell with the prisoners rights. THEY SHOULD HAVE NONE!!!

  16. cute flowers,
    beautiful writing!
    Happy Monday!

    I added your name to me specific list for the nomination,
    have fun with your husband.

  17. parenting is tricky,
    I agree with you mostly,
    treating kids and talking to them bending down to their level is a way to get respect from them,
    thank you for the inspirations!

  18. http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/04/19/your-comments-touch-my-heart-award/

    awards for you.

  19. That is a beautiful macro!


  20. Such lovely color in this cactus blossom!

  21. Nice shot on the cactus flower.
    Have a nice week :)

  22. What a pretty cactus flower, lovely color.
    You have a very beautiful blog, I like the customization.

  23. i love the little flowers of cacti, my brother had a collection, they were so pretty!

  24. Your cactus is way ahead of mine! Quite lovely - startlingly so, as cacti are!

  25. Oh, and I do happen to agree about the quick slap. I was raised by two parents, too (more and more unusual in these days, sadly) and got the slap around the legs or the backside when I transgressed. Far, far better to have instant correction that the empty threat 'wait until your father gets home'. With my own children, I was lucky. I had intelligent, responsive boys and my new policy of 'time out' and reasoned argument did in fact work well. They have both grown up moral and law-abiding, all round good citizens, for which I'm thankful. But I have to say that 'time out' didn't work so well for us. They'd just wander off and find something better to do and later had completely forgotten about the whole incident. One even said, during a 'reasoned argument', 'Oh, why don't you just hit me and get it over with!' LOL! He tells me now his head would be spinning with words, words, words and he didn't understand or remember the half of them.


    Plus ca change ...

  26. nice blossom, great color, would not mind havbing that in my patio.....


  27. Hello Hootin Anne
    Glad I stopped in from our sweet friend Jinglw,and I totally agree with you!!!! If the kids were popped up side their heads and their butts were tore up more!!! Our prisons would not be overflowing,that sit or stand in the corner don't mean nothing!! Like you said a bunch of BS for real!!! If you don't tear their fannys up,you'll wish you had when it to late. We were also raised getting our butts tore up and it helps so much,children need discipline and want it. I hear a lot of children screaming and cussing at their parents,a quick slap in the mouth would stop all of that!!! I'm not meaning abuse them,but let them know quickly who is the parent! I'm so glad I stopped in and I enjoyed the read,I'll be back soon.Have a wonderful day :)

  28. I agree with your opinion, instead of the "experts". It's kind of like the movie reviewers. If they diss a movie, I usually like it. The "experts" don't know everything!

  29. It's a tough call. I think if you're going to spank, it's imperative not to do it in anger. It's more of a "Ok, you did this, so now I'm doing this" rather than "I'm so mad at you, I'm spanking you!" attitude. B/c then I DO think it teaches your children to react physically when THEY get angry.

  30. Hear, hear, Anni! My mother mentioned to a young cousin of mine that teaching even a very young child is easy by a quick smack on the back of the hand. Her response: "I'm not going to beat my child into submission or break his fingers!" My mother's reply: "Oh, for goodness sake, have some sense...I didn't say bash him! Well, it's a rod for your own back."

    I feel the do gooders are absolutely brainless and childless! Most children are too young to understand what thinking about their actions even means and it's just prolonging the whole thing anyway. A quick swat, a tear or two then "sorry mummy" and it's all over.

    No wonder the world is going to hell in a handbasket!

  31. Well, I think your flower is beautiful, and I agree with you regarding chastening and reproof, and the occasional swat on the butt! Small children are not able to sit and think the way adults do. They aren't mature enough. But they understand pain and can connect it with the action they just did pretty well!
    Thanks for the visit, come on over to see My World and more of that mysterious macro!

  32. Beautiful blooms! I just love these plants!

  33. The cactus may look mean and spikey but the pink flower is beautiful. :)

  34. Beautiful photo of the cactus blossom.

    About the spanking - One of my children never needed it at all, and the other responded to nothing less. However, more than a butt-swat to get their attention is too much, in my book, and schools should never hit kids.

  35. I'm with you Annie. what really gets me is parents of SNKs who won't discipline ANYTHING the kids does. "oh but he's speeeeecial". well, special or not there are some things that aren't acceptable and should be TAUGHT as such.

    but you should SEE the looks I get when I spank my kids. I mean you really have to see them to believe them. no matter how awful they're behaving at the time.


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