~...end Wordless Wednesday
[scroll for commenting]


The third installment of my week of jokes:

Every Sunday Father Donovan, a preacher at a small church in the little town of Juniper, MO, tried to make the Bible accessible to his congregation through his sermons.
On this particular Sunday, Father Donovan proclaimed, "If you ever feel adrift in the sea of life, just turn to the Bible for guidance. All life's experiences are immortalized in the good book, and it will help you find your way to shore."
After church Mrs. Francis approached the preacher and said, "Father Donovan, I don't think every life experience is in the Bible. Nowhere in the Bible have I ever read about PMS."
Father Donovan had never heard such a comment, so that night he sifted through the Bible to see if Mrs. Francis was right.
Next Sunday Father Donovan pulled Mrs. Francis aside after church and said, "I wasn't wrong last Sunday when I said that every life experience is mentioned in the Bible."
"Okay, Father. Where does it say anything about PMS?"
Father Donovan opened up his Bible and showed her a passage that read: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."


  1. We had a squirrel problem with our bird seed feeder --so, we bought one that stated "Squirrel Guard" ---thing is, the poor birds couldn't land anywhere or get to the seed!! So Bud put two 'perches' on it....


    ...and I want to thank everyone from yesterday who left all the great compliments on my finished painting!!! From the bottom of my heart ---thanks!!!!

  2. That squirrel is living well! What a coat and what a lovely long tail. What kind of seed does he like best? Hee hee. I need to get some for myself to improve my mane.

    Loved the joke!

  3. Lucky you getting such a lovely creature to come to your table - unlike us - we got a rat

  4. Anonymous4/30/2008

    oh my! what a lovely tail :)

    i didn't know what you mean on your comment "you sold me" until i saw your blog's design. :D :D

    happy wednesday!


  5. Thanks for stopping by my blog & leaving a comment! :) That is one seedy character indeed. We have a few well fed squirrels as well.

  6. I had a bird feeder on a pole in the middle of the yard. I greased the pole with Vaseline to thwart the squirrels, and it was like I went to the circus - they were TOO FUNNY trying to get up that pole!

    Tink *~*~*
    My Mobile Adventures *~*~*

  7. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Squirrels amaze me. They're so persistent!!! Nice WW.

  8. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Nice pictures - although I understand that the squirrels can be a problem... Thank´s for the comment you left at my little place in cyberspace!

  9. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Aww, what a beautiful squirrel. Why should birds get all the yummies, anyway?

  10. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Interesting squirrel guard!

  11. Anonymous4/30/2008

    I think squirrels are so nice. I have been buying them peanuts for several years and now they don't mess with the bird feeders.

  12. Great photos...animals sure can be sneaky and smart! That must have been fun to watch.

  13. That's a chubby squirrel! I like your new banner!

  14. Anonymous4/30/2008

    That's one huge squirrel! Happy WW and thanks for stopping by!

  15. That squirrel is twice as large as the ones around here!! maybe we should all feed them properly like you do :)
    Happy WW and a wonderful Wednesday to you!!!
    Mine is posted here .

  16. Anonymous4/30/2008

    That is one huge squirrel!
    He must be the same one that ate all my daffodil bulbs!

    Thanks for stopping by my WW Botanical Garden Daffodils (yes, since mine got all eaten up, needed a substitute picture! LOL).

  17. That squirrel surely knows how to take advantage of an opportunity.

  18. I first thought this bushy tail was a cat, lol ! see my brain is cat deformed ! I see them everywhere !
    I really love these little squirrels unfortunately we don't have a lot here around, I only see one once in a blue moon ! They are different than the American squirrels, ours are smaller and red not grey.

  19. That squirrel is showing you his best side, huh? :)

  20. That fellow better watch out - his long tail would make a great "coonskin hat". (Squirrelskin hat?)

    A friend tried the vaseline on the pole trick - only here in New England, it froze solid and only gave the squirrels that much more traction to help climb the dang pole!!

  21. Well, that's a beautiful squirrel.
    I like Abraham Lincoln's idea of feeding peanuts to the squirrels, so that the birds can have some peace and quiet.

    Happy WW. :)

  22. Are you sure that's a squirrel? lol
    Nice blog. Great joke!! MB

  23. You've got goofy birds! They should hang on to the cage! (just like a suet feeder) Squirrels are SO smart! And determined!

    Love your joke today! LOL!

  24. What a huge squirrel. I looked at that photo at first thinking "What is that?" It looks like the birdy is having to wait in line.

  25. Anonymous4/30/2008


    b) At first I thought "what's a floating hammer doing in Anni's picture"! Ha! Then I "saw" it was a squirrel's tail! Too funny, my eyes were playing BIG tricks.

    Yeah...those critters love our seed, too...!

  26. Anonymous4/30/2008

    I suddenly had an overwelming desire to pull on that tail! Love that other tale too! Thanks for visiting my boys for sale!

  27. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Just spotted your William Blake quote. I'm reading a novel set in 1792 revolving around the great man. It's well worth reading - Burning Bright by Tracy Chevalier ( she of Girl With a Pearl Earing)

  28. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Great tail. LOL

    Happy WW!!

  29. Anni,

    That is quite a squirrel. I can't believe how big he is. The ones we have here are quite a bit smaller, but of course that squirrel is from Texas. Ha! Enjoyed your joke as well.

    Take care, Anni and have a wonderful day.


  30. Don't ask, but when I saw the first shot, I thought it was a lemur's tale! LOL!! Sometimes I just don't make a lot of sense.

    Thanks for dropping by my WW. While I haven't shared at my blog yet, I just HAD to come tell you - YOU'RE RIGHT!!! It IS a welder's helmet! The green light? The sun as seen through the helmet.

    In the first shot, I have the camera right up inside the helmet and got the greenish sun (along with faint tree lines). In the second shot (which was the first one I took), I had camera too far back, so the inside of the helmet reflected me and the camera, while capturing the sun through the helmet.

    It totally cracked me up that someone figured that out! You're awesome! :D

  31. How fun to find another Colorado person! Yeah, too bad I hadn't thought to make it a real contest with prizes and all. LOL!! It was sort of a spontaneous WW anyway. Hubs was teaching the boys how to weld and use a cutting torch and such cool stuff. I wasn't even aware that you could look right at the sun - even an eclipse - through a welding helmet. I was just out taking pix of them learning something new. :D

  32. Wow, what a squirrel.

  33. That's a big squirrel,I remember in the Victoria park in London,squirrels approached people for them to be feed.
    I’m in a big wooden shoe

    Happy WW!

  34. I thought it was a monkey's tail, too! Poor bird has to wait for the squirrel to get a turn.

  35. We don’t get squirrels here … we’ve got opossum’s … HUGE and tiny ones and, of course, they drive the dogs crazy. Loved the joke today ;--)
    Hugs and blessings,

  36. That is the longest tail Ive ever seen on a squirel

  37. Anonymous4/30/2008

    There is enough tail on that one squirrel for at least 15 more animals. I see how in the second picture the bird is patiently waiting on the arm of the chair!

  38. i never seen one that big.The tail wow.Great share. happy WW.

  39. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Interesting i always see squirrel in our yard and its unique to see them always not like in our country...Happy WW!

  40. Anonymous4/30/2008

    that is a very big squirrel! so unlike the ones i see in the parks around here. :) thans for dropping by my site! :D

  41. Anonymous4/30/2008

    Squirrels are such a pain. We have not found anything to keep them away. We had one inside a trash can one time and it jumped out at my daughter, scratching her stomach.

    Your pic - that is one BIG squirrel.

  42. No wonder the squirrel's butt is so big!

  43. Those were some great photos. Happy WW!

  44. I really like birds & squirrels... nice pictures! Thanks for visiting me too :D

  45. Now that's one well fed squirrel! I've not seen one so fluffy in a long time. Thanks for stopping by my WW.

  46. Anonymous5/01/2008

    Hee, hee! Our 'squirrel guards' have been equally effective :P I love how the bird is patiently sitting there waiting his turn - LOL!

    Thanks for stopping by my place and happy WW!

  47. Anonymous5/01/2008

    Great photos love the pigeon observing the squirrel, also I like yr template nice layout and good content xx

  48. Squirrels - the most tenancious (and I think evil) of God's little critters. They regularly dig up my flowers to plant the peanuts someone around the neighbourhood is giving them - drives me crazy!

  49. Sorry for the late comment. Am still learning the ropes of blogging.

    Thanks for visiting my site and viewing my WW. Its actually a painted ceiling.

    Nice tail shot and nice yard too!

    Loved the joke. Thanks!


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