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Got a good reason For taking the easy way out


They make me laugh ---

What do you get if you cross a Cocker Spaniel with a Poodle and a rooster?
A cockapoodledoo!

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Some of the Reasons Why People Don't Exercise .....but I continually exercise myself, anyway...

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where she is!

2. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

3. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

4. If we were meant to touch our toes, they would have grown in further up our body.

5. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

6. Is the advantage of exercising every day that you die healthier?

7. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a very small country.

8. I don't jog because it makes the ice jump right out of my soda.

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A high school student asked his teacher if a person should be punished for something he hadn't done.
"No," said the teacher. "Of course not!"
"Good." said the boy. "Because I haven't done my homework."

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"I want you to help me stop my son gambling," an anxious father said to his boy's principal. "I don't know where he gets it from but it's bet, bet, bet."
"Leave it to me," said the principal. A week later he phoned the boy's father. "I think I've cured him," he said.
"How?"
"Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said,
"I bet that's a false beard."
"How much?" I said, and he said
"$5 "
"What happened?" asked the father.
"Well, he tugged my beard, which is quite natural, and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him a lesson."
"No, it won't," said the father. "He bet me $10 this morning that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!"

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Little Tommy was the quietest boy in school. He never answered any questions but his homework was always quite excellent. If anyone said anything to him he would simply nod, or shake his head. The staff thought he was shy and decided to do something to give him confidence.

"Tommy," said his teacher. "I've just bet Miss Smith $5 I can get you to say three words. You can have half."

Tommy looked at her pityingly and said, "You lose."

4 comments :

  1. You truly are a "hoot!" I loved all of these....

    Hope you're having a nice weekend.

    Cheers.

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  2. Loved the calendar idea! Good one! Cute jokes too! ( i DO agree with that exercising in the morning one... so much easier if the brain hasn't caught up yet! ) LOL!

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  3. Thanks for the laughs. And the calendar idea is good. Happy New Year.

    Thanks for stopping by.

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  4. I would say you like Johnny Depp, The Pirates of the Caribbean or both!
    Thanks for visiting my blog too!
    Happy New Year!

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