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Got a good reason For taking the easy way out


SUNDAY SNIPPET




Dear blog:

Okay blog, this first section is a bit out of the ordinary, and the actual newspaper 'snippet' will be last today. But, before I cleaned out my email account, I wanted to double check the spam email folder before deleting its contents. Mind you blog, this time I didn't find anything worth moving to my inbox folder, but boy howdy, was I aghast at the subject headings of some of the atrocious mailings!!

And I ask you blog, why on earth would anyone, who has been online long enough, care to open such nonsense. Here is an example of some of the subjects found in my spam folder:

Sender -InboxOffer
Subject -The doggy steps solution for smaller breeds
(say what? I've heard of taking baby steps, but teaching us to consider training our toy breed-type dogs to take doggy steps is a bit off color isn't it? Have you watched your smaller breed and how gigantic their steps are? Especially if you're out walking your dog to do his business ...in the rain?!)


Sender -Superb Debt Settlement
Subject - Stop paying your bills-see how its done
(ummmmmm, ya-a! Just try it and see how it's done. On 2nd thought, I know how it's done!! Here are some pointers: One by one, you begin to hear the tap tap tapping on your door, and sure 'nough, things start being taken from you! Your car, your home...your dignity, including your toilet paper! I think this outfit should take a look to see just what they're up against. Do they think we were born under rocks?) I ask you blog---would you open such nonsense?

Sender -retreat terrorism
Subject - Play and Win.
(allllll righty then! First off, what the heck is a retreat for terrorism? Some place you go to relax after you're bombed or maybe something that is for terrorists? Who comes up with these captions and addresses? Then, the play and win? Just what is won? The 'treat' or the ism?)

Sender -Suzu
Subject - get craving of sex
(To begin with, the sender? Suzu? That sounds like a sumo wrestler if ever I heard of one! And believe me, craving sex with a sumo dude is not my idea of cravings of any kind. I'm sticking by my statement here. Nope, no such craving Mr. Suzu! Go pick on someone your own size!!! Oh, and take your 66"+ thong with you ---it wouldn't even make a good flag!)

Sender -Drake Rodriguez
Subject -Beware of fake pills
(Okay, I need to 'fess up blog! Drake baby sounds like some hunk outta Days of Our Lives or some such soap! Then again, he may be from Nip Tuck! Aren't fake pills something they call placebos? I think we got a psycho in our midst, dear blog!! Watch that creature who's selling fake anything to you...especially the ones on the trash encrusted web corners with burnt out street monitors! Just who knows what are IN these pills' ingredients. Don't fall for it; your pills just may not have any warning labels on 'em either. And I'll wager my year's salary that they're not good for viruses or worm infestations!!!)

Sender -321Jokes.com
Subject - He Loves His Car
(one word - - PERVERT!!!) Must be some nozzle ya got there....fella!!

Sender -YesFunny.com
Subject -Top 17 Fatal Things to Say
(This is definitely an expansion of David Letterman's Top 10 list! Either that or Mr. Letterman is high on something and just can't stop talkin'...Ya know? And number 17 would more than likely be, when at last he finishes his backward count from 100 to 17 ---"That was funny, yes? Fatal or not here I come!")

Sender -bunion
Subject -cashew tug of war
(No, seriously blog ---the sender IS Bunion! I have serious visions of the content pertaining to a rope with a cashew on one end and a NUT on the other. Take that, Pawl, and keep the bleu ahhhx tied up next time.)
*
typos intentional dear blog--going for phonetics here*

Sender -ALERT BeachFront Property reduced
Subject -ALERT BeachFront Property reduced
(Stammering idiot!!)
(Stammering idiot!!)

Sender -Aidan Watson
Subject -Avoid enhancement pills
(Oh this jerk just has to be co-starring with Drake dude from above! And I'm sure inside the email, it's gonna tell me that Viagra isn't for me at all! Ya think?)

Sender -Kendall Monroe
Subject - Fwd: private
(Sorry Kendall!! I know just by memory of days past where Lorena Bobbit hid the private when she whacked 'em off, so no need to forward yours!)

~<>~<>~<>~

Then......
this:
My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Honourable Lady Hootin Anni the Lachrymose of Piddletrenthide Under Booth
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title


I really like the fact I can still piddle under a booth ---well, like being a kid again!!! Déja vu!!

And....
My Fortune Cookie told me:
It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune


Say what? You gotta be kiddin' me! Here all this time I thought my directions in life were as sound as my body. (no need for sarcasm my dear blog!!) No WONDER they're all comin' my way.

~<>~<>~<>~
And now the 'feel good' snippet that I so enjoy doing---


A 100 year old finally is granted his college degree!!

3 comments :

  1. I agree, no one in their right mind should or would open those dumb ass ads -why they keep sending them is beyond me! Good blog Hon!
    Happy New years to you and yours!
    Hugs
    L

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well.. I HOPE he makes good on that degree! I'm sure he will have MUCH more success in the 2nd hunnerd years of his life than what he had in the first! They SAY a degree is everything!

    And I thoroughly enjoyed all your SPAM -- I don't get any and it's been a LONG while since I've seen those kind of subject lines!!! But I'm with ya -- I wouldn't open 'em!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too funny, you would not believe what I get at Rafe's email addy...lol.
    Have a very happy New Year

    ReplyDelete

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