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Got a good reason For taking the easy way out




Here-re-re-re Lizard, lizard, lizard....


See him?



WEEKEND FUNNIES








cartoon from Google Search for "Halloween Jokes"
















An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who watched the whole incident walked up and asked,

"What the heck is going on?"

The drunk, still staring down, replied: "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."

- - -

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks.
"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.
"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely.
"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? huh?"
At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage.
Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself,

"Well, I guess it's that time of the month."

- - -


Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams.

Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A. Bamboo


- - -




A POLITICALLY CORRECT HALLOWEEN HAND OUT [TREAT]


Apples should be organic, Alar-free, union-packed, washed in genuine American Zephyrhills water, and X-rayed before being handed out. Any worms should be housed, fed, read their rights, then returned to their native soil, or, if they so choose, given refugee status in yours.

8 comments :

  1. Haha!! Great series of jokes, well done. Love the one about Helda

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  2. Good bunch of jokes! My favorite is the first one.
    I saw the lizard too - cute!

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  3. I liked the cartoon and the Bambi joke best!

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  4. Cute little lizard! Good shot 'cause those critters can be very fast can't they!

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  5. Love the lizard and great humor ~ thanks, namaste, Carol (A Creative Harbor)

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  6. what a delightful post!

    thanks for the giggle!

    happy weekend!

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  7. Thanks for the laughs today!!!

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  8. I have to admit, I couldn't see the lizzard, lol ! It is well hidden !
    Lol about the witch !

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