“A wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard...
Why can't we all be like that bird?”
― Edward Hersey Richards




my POETRY | ANNI'S BOOK CRITIQUES | my ART | my BIRD photography | MLB | NFL | hurricanes






I'm lookin' for a sucker few good men....




and


My six words:

GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES?





- - -

CAMERA CRITTER

...and still groggy from sleep before sunrise, I venture out of the comforts of the bed ---only to step in it!!! Ooey, gooey goodness? I don't think so! My whole morning has been ruined. :::gag::: "Clean-up on aisle six"!! And the culprit...a huge hair ball ---yep, our 'ho baby' upchucked...



TRYING TO LOOK INNOCENT!
I KNOW BETTER.







WEEKEND FUNNIES
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A Cat's Diary


* DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

* DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

* DAY 762
Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

* DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...

* DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

* DAY 771
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage...

* DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

- - -




Special permission to post cartoon, granted.




POSTED: Saturday, June 5th, 2010
12:15 A.M.


29 comments :

  1. This made me laugh so much, totally reminds me of my cat. I love you.

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  2. Good morning sunshine...I've got a present for you ROFLMAO!!! YIKES I almost upchucked just reading that LOL Better you than me. Yea I know that's not nice of me to say but it is oooo so true. :) LOL I love the cats diary and the cartoon. Too damn funny LOL :) Day 768 just cracked me up. :) Have thumb will travel LOL..

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  3. WOW..you always amazed me with your remarkable sense of humor!I love them all and your cat's diary coincides with my beliefs all along that cats can write a diary! LOL

    I missed you, Anni.
    hugs
    shakira

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  4. Oh...I adore your new layout and the magic comment box that transforms with and without make up! WOW!
    You are so dedicated.
    hugs
    shakira

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  5. 6W for you: Unexpected gifts often arrive that way.

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  6. Six words for you: Hairball? I think I will puke!

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  7. good things come in small packages,
    how true!
    award winning image on top..
    smiles!
    love your six words Saturday!

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  8. I didn't know the storm made it that far down there. Here in SA I had the fence broken in a few places, my neighbors gazebo was rested against my house, shingles came off of roofs and 120,000 people were without electricity. I haven't beenaround to your blog for a while so it was sure nice to find you! I was just thinking about you yesterday. I hope you're doing well! I will stop by more often. Your blog always makes me smile!

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  9. We haven't had a cat for a while, but this brought back some of the joys the little critters bring to us.

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  10. i so agree with your 6ws.

    aren't cats adorable?! i enjoyed the diary... so that's how their minds work. lol!

    if you have time, my 6ws post is here. happy weekend!=)

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  11. ~always a riot are you...thanks for the smile...warm wishes and brightest blessings~

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  12. Aaaggh! We have a cat, so I've experienced that lovely sensation too. What a thing to wake up to.
    I've gotten the cat diary in an e-mail before, but it's good to read again. I think our cat feels the same way!

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  13. I loved all of the little exerpts frorm the cat's diary. Too funny! I could totally imagine my cat "Bobs" saying those things. Have a great weekend!

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  14. I also posted a cat, a mother and a kitty.:)

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  15. Um... yuck? I can think of few things I would rather not start my day with!

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  16. You are too too funny, Anni. This cracked me up! Except the EWWW part!

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  17. Ahhh, the joy of hairballs........lol

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  18. Hair balls are the worst! My cat horked up one in my favorite purse last week. Ugh :(

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  19. living with a cat- a special person you are and me too sandy

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  20. Cute post, Anni! Loved the weekend funnies.

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  21. Hi Anni, thanks for the warning. This was a really good (bad) post.

    We just acquired a cat from Karen. You may have seen Amber posted on my blog as she has visited us before. This time is keeps.
    Amber probably will stay upstairs here. The little dog, Katrin, scares her with all the barking.
    Do you recommend I have an 'Amber, Prisoner' diary. Amber is 17 years old.
    ..

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  22. Your posts are hilarious - love the cat in captivity! Sorry about the hairball.

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  23. Anni,

    I enjoyed reading this!

    But-Oh,my-that poor cat!!


    Junie

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  24. Hahaha, your cat is like "I did not do anything" lol.

    Hope you can visit My Camera Critters too. Thanks.

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  25. Anni,

    I must tell Michelle about this. The boys have all the Shrek glasses, but don't think they drink out of them at all. They have a collection of glasses. I love Donkey.

    Sorry I haven't been around lately. I do miss visiting and emailing you.

    Blessings,
    Mary

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  26. Love the cat diary!! That is just too funny.

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  27. cats alot of messy work love the cartoon. rose

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  28. I don't remember the last time I read something so funny! Oh, wait...it was on your blog :-)

    Day 761 just killed me!

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