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Got a good reason For taking the easy way out



Even if you don't have pets...read on:


Thursday, June 4th, 2009
4:58 A.M.





The following was found posted on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

1] The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

2] The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

3] I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

4] For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

5] The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

6] They live here. You don't. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

7] I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they - - -
8] eat less
9] don't ask for money all the time,
10] are easier to train; normally come when called,
11] never ask to drive the car,
12] don't want to wear your clothes; don't have to buy the latest fashions
13] don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
BONUS-if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

- - -

I was sent this from Lisa through an email and thought it was a hoot.

44 comments :

  1. This is a good one! I like your new header too!

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  2. LOL - I hear you on all of these. I wouldn't be without my little dog. :)

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  3. This is my first time at your blog, Anni, but I couldn't resist this post.

    I caught my dog printing it out and taping it on the fridge.

    Cheers!

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  4. Woo Hoo, thanks for making me laugh. I love your new header.

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  5. what a fun list! i love my poodle to bits and he's one spoiled- rotten pooch, sometimes some of my family members get jealous of him. i will 'lecture nos. 1-5 to him' and run an awareness campaign to all those coming to our home, from nos. 6-13 :-) Thanks for sharing. Happy TT.

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  6. Love the new header :)

    Number 3 is soooo true!

    (But maybe we're just jealous? I know there are days & nights I'd like to hog the bed -- sticking my tail & tongue out for added sarcasm!)

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  7. Great list. I may have to forward this to all of my pet-owning friends.

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  8. I am going to have to copy this one. It's great!

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  9. Hi Hootin' Annie!
    Did some remodeling? Looks nice.
    Love the one about pets and the stairwell. I've lived it :)

    http://iamharriet.blogspot.com/2009/06/lovin-thursday.html

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  10. My favorites are 6-13 because they are part of my life every day. With 4 Persian cats, our house gets hairy rather easily, LOL!

    Love your new layout. :)

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  11. OMG Anni how true are all of these... Very fun read this morning... You made my day! I too like your new header it is such a HOOT. Have a great day

    (((HUGS)))
    Donna

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  12. that 2nd part, the 'to all non-pet owners who visit...' one, i printed and framed and hung in my kitchen in honour of a person who frequents my house and is full of nasty comments...... worst is, when she read it, she didn't grasp that it was directed at her.... oh well.

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  13. oh, and the owls? coooool!

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  14. Those were great...those last few were priceless. By the way...I love the owls!!!

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  15. LOL! Great list! I especially love the Bonus :) Happy T13!

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  16. Anni,

    This is hilarious but in some cases very true. Dakota does scratch at the door when I'm in the bathroom and he does try to lay claim to my food. lol

    Great humour this morning.

    Blessings,
    Mary

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  17. Your Thursday 13 is a HOOT, and so are you, Anni. What fun!

    I do not own any pets...but I DO have Burt. He thinks he is a cat. He even has four paws. He has made his permanent home on our lanai, until water covers the floor during out daily afternooners.

    And when he does sleep in bed with us, I don't even know he's there, until I find one of my toes missing the next morning. I hate th sight of blood...mine...and HIS!

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  18. Hey, did you remodel again?

    Great list. I'll have to share it with my gerbils.

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  19. What fun! Sadly, how true :-).

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  20. I loved this! It made perfect sense to me

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  21. Loved the bits about pets and kids.

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  22. Very cute! Never thought of the "fur"-niture thing before...

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  23. I'll read that to Heidi each morning, but I think it is already too late. :)

    BTW I like the owl motif on your page --- very whimsical.

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  24. Great post. Such a fun, creative way to do the Thursday 13!

    Thanks for hopping over my way!

    http://sweetteasunshine.blogspot.com/2009/06/thursday-13-thirteen-favorite-pasta.html

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  25. Sooo funny and SO true. LOL As I read each one, I was saying "yes!" Btw --- I like your new graphics - the hooter :). Very nice!

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  26. Sell the kids! Oh, that's the best part!!

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  27. and so i m here and loving it completely! :D

    happy TT

    http://2short2sweet.blogspot.com/2009/06/yes-to-power-13.html

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  28. Very cute - and so true.

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  29. What a great new header, really ties in with your blog name, I love it!
    Cute list, I can identify with many of these statements from previous dogs (we're dog-less by {my} choice right now) the cats, less so.

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  30. I love the new header.It really does fit,
    Loved the list,#3 is so true at our house. Our spoiled baby (shih-tzu)is not big by day but becomes a german shepherd by night.
    God bless

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  31. loving your owl header-lol-too true-too true (plus they don't argue back like human kids;)

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  32. Love the new header..great look. Great post :)

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  33. Fun list ;--)
    Love your header too! Thanks for dropping by Sacred Ruminations earlier. I also played at Happily Retired Gal this week ... just because.
    Hugs and blessings,

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  34. I love your new header!! How cute is this!!!!
    I -LOL at your post!! How funny but it is true to life in a way!!!
    Thanks for your visits while I was sick. You can cheer up a person in a heartbeat!!! Hugs, Carolyn

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  35. Numbers 8-13 are the best :)

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  36. Love, LOVE #6. I'd add, "Your allergies are caused by YOUR faulty immune system, not by cats."

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  37. Thanks for visiting and I enjoyed your list. I sometimes like animals better than people too.

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  38. Hey Annie, I am glad you told those non-pet owners what they needed to hear.
    And I do hope that the person who left the crappy note on your fridge door reads it too.
    He/she obviously does not have a heart for dogs and cats. Probably can't remember childhood days either or they were so oppressed they didn't get to do the good fun things!
    ..

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  39. LOL This was too good...

    Thanks for stopping by

    Happy TT

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  40. I am NOT letting my dog read one line of this..........(smiles)

    Lee-ann

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  41. It's too funny I have read it somewhere already but a long time ago ! I am back from Morocco since Thursday evening and have the blues ! the south of Morocco is so beautiful it's nearly undescriptible there are some landscapes which look like the painted dessert or some places in Arizona. Of course in the desert I had no internet and could only get one in Marrakech. Now I have to catch up ! Fortunately I had put my pictures every day into my travel computer !

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  42. I really enjoyed your list! I read it to my son and he was laughing. I like the last 8 the best! Thanks for a good 13 ;-)

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